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Kana zvadai ngati tize!

Pastor vaibva havo kuchurch nemota yavo ndokuona kamwana kachiedza kubaya interkom kachitadza  kusvikira vakamisa mota kuti vanokabatsira, vakakasimudza kakabaya interkom ikadairwa zvikanzi napastor yadairwa toita sei? Zvikanzi nekamwana ngatitizei 

kwayedza

Ndirikudawo kuregestar kwayedza repasvondo pega pega pafoni yangu

Ndinga dai ndabuda mujere nhasi

Mukadzi akapinda mukitchen ndokuona murume akagara pachair akatarisa pacalendar misodzi ichierera. zvikanzi: 
Mukadzi: "Ko chii nhai sweety?"
Murume: "Uchiri kuziva here tichiri mkomana nemusikana paya patakabatwa nababa vako, pavakanditi ndisarudze pakati pekukuroora kana kuti ndiende kujeri kwe10years.?"
Mukadzi: "Hoo, ehe ndapaziva. Ko mazvifunga sei izvozvo?"
Murume: "Ndiri kudemba kuti dai ndakangoshingirira, ndingadai ndabuda mujeri nhasi."

Itira mwari zvausati wakamboita

Next Sunday when your pastor says itira Mwari wako zvausati wamboita ,grab the offering basket and run away!

zesa

Yangu yekuomera amana.foni yangu yakapera moto apo ndine kafree airtym ne madata bundles .apo zesa ranga raswera risipo.ndakati regai ndibaire kafoni pachrge ndizomuka kuna 22.00 .wanike aah aah ndabiwa nehope kusvika makuseni.ummh amanaka ndakarwadziwa zvekuti mukadzi anemimba hasvike ipapo.asi zvisinei hazvo ndakafonera Econet yakati ndozvazvinoita kana muchidiridzisa mvura yemulake Kariba

Zhing zhong - magetsi adzoka

Mumwe muChina ava namakore gumi achigara muZimbabwe akabvunzwa kuti wava kugona Shona here iye akati ndo kiya kiya.
Akabva anzo tiudzewo Shona yawava kugona achibva ati: " yeeeeee magetsi azhoka"!!!

Heat Wave 2015 - Huori

Nehuori hwemu Zimbabwe munogona kutoishaya heat wave iyoyi ikunzi ikuuya paweekend Mashefu agovana ega!

Heat Wave 2015 - Kudzima ma photo

Haa mapisiro arikuita kunze ndasvika paku deleter ma photo andakatorwa ndakapfeka juzi

Mighty Warriors ku Rio (Brazil) Olympics

Dai ma Mighty Warriors akando mitiswa kuBrazil ikoko vouya ne mimba kuti tiwane vanhu vebhora!

Zesa ne Eskom

Eskom : Magetsi anoita achienda
Zesa: Magetsi anoita achiuya! Saka dont say magetsi arikuenda because anotofanira kunge asiko

Michero gumi

Vamwe varume vakanga vasvibirwa vari parwendo, vakazosvika pamusha waMambo ndoku kumbira pokuvata.

Mambo aiva nevanasikana vake vaiva mbonga (ma virgin). Akaudza machinda aya kuti vaikwanisa kuvata havo, asi vaisafanira kubata vana vake.

Machinda aya akazoita musikanzwa ndokukwira vana vaMambo. Mambo paakazvinzwa mangwana acho, aka rwadziwa ndoku shevedza machinda kudare.

Machinda aya akabatwa nemhosva ndokunzi semutongo wavo umwe neumwe wavo aifanira kuenda kunotsvaka michero gumi (10) mudondo. Vakanzi zve, vaisa fanira kuseka pa dare raMambo. Ainge aseka ari padare aizo gurwa musoro.

Muchinda wekutanga akandouya ne nyii dzake 10, jinda raMambo ndokutora nyii dziya ndokutanga kupakira kushure kwemuchinda.

Gare gare, muchinda wepiri akauya ne tsubvu dzake 10, ndo kupakirwa tsubvu dziya shure.

Muchinda wetatu akanonoka kudzoka, zvekuti vanhu vakanga vototi watiza.
Kwava kunovira, muchinda we nyii newe tsvubvu vakatanga kuseka vachiridza chikweee.

Vakabvunzwa kuti vaisekei, vakatadza kutaura nekuseka. Vanhu vakazoona muchinda wetatu achiuya akatakura magaka eminzwa.

WhatsApp status dzinopedza simba

Dzimwe whatsapp statuse dzino pedza power:

  • ‪‎Some‬ pple are alive coz its illegal to kill them
  • ‪‎Tohurova‬ isusu nherera, vane vabereki vachiendesa mbeu kumusha
  • ‪‎Nzwisisika‬ zvauri not kuita kunge cabbage panhamo muriwo ...... pamuchato isalad
  • ‎Handichengete‬ godo, handizi cooler box.
  • Some people are like clouds,if they go away its a beautiful day.
  • ‪‎Vanorwadziwa‬ neni miviri iri sei nhasi?
  • ‎Game‬ rachinja shiri yabvuta rhekeni.
  • ‎Muchandinzwira‬ kure seMazoe adilutwa nastepmother.
  • ‎Dai‬ kunyengerera iri subject ndingadai ndine U.
  • ‎Handitarisire‬ kudiwa nemunhu wese coz handisi mari ini!
  • ‎Usavawona‬ kupfeka majuzi nekunopisa ndini ndavapinza chando.
  • ‪‎If‬ u study me u wont graduate.
  • ‪‎I‬ need an accountant to help me count my blessings.
  • ‪‎Uchati‬ wandigona wandigonera sekuwidzira datya mumvura.
  • ‎Ndine‬ manyemwe kunge mwana wesmall house.
  • Hey‬ there! WhatsApp is using me!
  • Vanorwadziwa nesu ana mhofu, ariseyi marwadzo?
  • Some friends are made in China.
  • ‎Gore‬ rino mondionera mudenga se TV yemubhawa.
  • ‪‎Mapostori‬ akazhaka mapurisa vese vakatizira kutraffic.
  • ‎Urikurwadziwa‬ neni? Manje haupore.
  • Usandiitire‬ dzungu seraPharaoh aida kuyambuka gungwa raasina kupatsanura.
  • ‎Uchazoona‬ kukosha kwechikorobho warasa mvura iweka hauteereri!
  • ‪‎Musaite‬ sehuku inoiti iri mhenyu inonzi 'undressed' kana yaundurwa yonzi 'dressed'.
  • Work‬ till your bank account looks like a phone number.
  • Vamwe‬ muchikwidza venyu vabereki BP isu vedu tinokwidza ndege....
  • ‎Ndinoita‬ sevhiri risina mweya handina kana pressure.
  • ‎MTN‬ Muromo Tsemu Nekuseka!
  • ‎Mwari‬ sipo iya yamakanditumira iri kushanda vanhu vaye vari kuwacha.
  • ‪Minding‬ your own business is a full time job, stay employed.
  • Hatitambe tese, kana taimbotamba tese huya utore magaba ako.
  • Pamaitumwa kunodzora mombe ,ini ndaitumwa kunodzora volume.
  • Mawara anenge ejuzi rakadhamba maoko kuda kutangira vatenzi kugeza.
  • Handina monya mberi kwangu, chero ukandivinga wakabvisa shirt uchida kundiratidza SIX PACK ini ndokuratidza CRATE.
  • Kurasa chawakabata nekuda kuombera.
  • Usanyepera kupenga nekuda kukwira kombie mahara, tokurova.
  • Ikaticker yaonekwa. #WhatsApp haina remove.
  • God is really creative, I mean just look at me.
  • Kudya damba raputsirwa pahuyo unorariro verenga nyeredzi.

Zvivindi kuchi naya

Zvakwakanga kuri kunaya mvura zhinji Jo aimhanya achienda kumba. Akaona mota mberi kwake achibva aimhanyira. Akasvikovhura ndokugara kumberi. Maiva musina driver asi iye akangomirira ava mukati.
Asati afunga zvakawanda mota yakatanga kufamba. Hana yake yakarova zvikuru. Kuti adzike akatya,kugaramo kwaityisazve uye kwanga kwasviba kuchinaya. Apa ma1 akanga atotanga nekuti mota yakafamba kusvika pakona yaityisa. 
Hana yakawedzera kurova paakaona steering yava kukoneswa kuteera road neruoko rwusina munhu. Zvakakunda hana yaJo achibva asvetuka nekumhanya kubhawa raiva padyo. 
Akangosvikogara mukona ari oga nemadhaka ake. Chinguvana akaona varume vaviri vachipinda vakananga paari.
Mumwe akabvunza nehasha "Mfana chivindi chako ndechei iwe kukwira mota yatiri kupusha?"

mwana wemu hedheni

Inzwai mhinduro dzemwana wemuHedheni paRoad Show. Jona pindura mibvunzo gumi (10) inotevera ugozviwanira shool fees voucher pachena.

1. Jona, tiudze ndiani muBhaibheri anonzi simba rake raibva mubvudzi? 
   Jona: "ndiBob Marley". 

2. Tiudze muchato mukuru mushoko dzvene ramwari wakaitirwa munzvimbo yainzi chii? 
   Jona: "Harare Gardens".

3. Vana veIsrael vakayambuka rwizi rwunonzi chii uye vachiende kunyika ipi? 
   Jona : "Rwizi Limpopo vakanange Joni"

4. Mambo Pharoh vaigara kupi? 
   Jona: "KuState House" 

5. Mambo Jesu vakarova vanhu vaitengesa nekutamba njuga munzvimbo ipi? 
   Jona: "Coppa Cabanna" 

6. Nhai Jona ndiani anonzi akaendeswa kuhere aramba kunyenga mukadzi waPotifa?
   Jona: "ndiGumbura asi haana kuramba kunyenga, ndiye akatorambwa" 

7: Sei Zimbabwe senyika ichinzi iChristian  Country? 
   Jona: "Nenhau yekutora minda" 

8. Zvakaporofitwa nani uye kupi kuti tenzi wedu vachazo batwa vagoshungurudzwa vozorowerwa pamuchinjikwa? 
   Jona: "NdivaMakandiwa paJudgement Night 2" 

9: Zadzisa chirevo ichi: Enda kumujuru iwe simbe ugo.........
   Jona: "Ugorumwa zvekuti ukaone pane churu unosvipe mate" 

10. Ndiani waungati ndiye muporofita mukuru mubhaibheri uye nemhaka yei? 
    Jona "Magaya muhombe bcoz ave kuto sponsor nebhora".

Usabvisa chiremerera che svutu

USABVISA CHIREMERERA CHE SUIT YAKO!
  • Usabereka setchel kana wakapfeka suit, unobvisa chiremerera che suit yako.
  • Usamhanya chero wanonoka kwauri kuenda sei, unobvisa chiremerera che suit yako.
  • Usafamba uchidya kana kunwa... 
  • Usadya mabanana, mango, chibage
  • Usamwa freezit chero kukapisa sei... 
  • Usadyira pachena unobvisa chiremerera che suit yako
  • Usamira kana kubata bata panotengeswa hembe dzemubhero, kana uchidzida wozotenga usina kupfeka suit.
  • Usaseka zvekubuda misodzi chero pakaita zvinosetsa sei ...iva dignified!
  • Usapopotedzana nevanhu kana kurwa wakapfeka suit.
  • Usapfeka ma Tekkie wakapfeka suit
  • Kana wapinda mu Restaurant, wava kudya ziva matsengero, usanyanya kushama muromo...
  • Usagwegwedura mabhonzo, unobvisa chiremerera che suit yako...
  • Takura Laptop bag chero musina chinhu mukati...
  • Usataura ma Language ese ese kana wakapfeka suit... 
  • Usataura chichawa chero uchichigona,,usataura chitoko kana chimanyika
  • Kunyangwe uchizivana nemahwindi pa rank, ita seusingavazivi, unobvisa chiremerera che suit yako.
  • Usachema chema pakutenga kana wakapfeka suit
  • Batanidza mari yako, usaverenga madhora pose pose
  • Potawo uchiti kune vamwe "Keep change"
  • Zvauriiwe ugomwa scud wakapfeka suit
  • Uchienda kuchurch famba nemhuri yako kwete one one 
  • Kana usina mota usaratidza vanhu kuti waita zvekuchekerera nemubani....
  • Ziva masvikiro pavanhu, ita sewaburuka mota. 
  • Famba nekajira kekupukuta shangu.
  • Usadikitira wakapfeka suit unless uchiparidza.

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