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zanu pf - rugare, joy, simba

Zanu pf haisisina Simba,
Zanu pf haisisina Midzi
Zanupf haichina weku Themba
Zanu pf haisisina Rugare
lnogona kudzoka kuCongress isisina Joy. Yadyiwa nemujuru

pazhira (mukorekore nemu vhitori)

Muvhitori achibvunza mukorekore nzira:
Muvhitori: ndopazhira here apa?
Mukorekore: pazhira uone murovero wandokuita!

chinoz - relaxing mu park

Chinoz aive akalaxer zvake mupark, pakabva pasvika a white lady.
White Lady: Oooh are you relaxing?
Chinoz: No i am Chinoz.
White Lady: No i am just asking, are you relaxing?
Chinoz: Haaa ibvapa iwe ndinonzi Chinotimba mhani!
Then akabva asimuka akutenderera zvake mupark,  akabva aona kawhite kid kaitamba zvako...
Chinoz: Are you Relaxing?
White Kid: Yes i am..
Chinoz: Pfutseki wako mhanya kuna mbuya wako vari kukutsvaga. Vari kungobvunza munhu wese kuti are you relaxing, are you relaxing...

chinoz - aircon

A journalist ask cde chinoz: "do yu have any comments about the death of mandela. "
Chinoz: " oh yes yes. Africa has lost an aircon"

Murwere wekuda mazai

Zvinoita munhu kana arwara akomana zvakaoma. 
Vamwe mai vakaenda koona murume wavo ainge arwara muchipatara. Vakamuigira mazai akakafraiwa zvakanzi nemurume wacho: "handisikuda akafraiwa dai mauya neakaboiliswa".
Mangwana mukadzi uya ndokuuya neakaboiliswa zvakanzi "aiwa dai mauya neakafraiwa ".
Ava mangwana acho mukadzi uya ndokuuya neakafraiwa neakaboiliswa zvakanzi nemurume wacho: "aiwa, amafraya aya dai ariwo amaboirisa aya akaboiler dai ariwo amafraya".

kugerwa mahara

Mumwe murume akapinda mubarbershop aine mwana wake mukomana. 
Murume ndokutanga kugerwa apedza bvaati rega ndimbonotenga nyama ndouya ndobhadhara ka 1 sara uchigera mwana wangu.
Mwana uya apedza kugerwa barber aona kuti baba vaya vanonoka kudzoka akabvunza mwana uye kuti baba vake vainge vanotenga nyama kure zvakadii.
Mukomana uya ndokupindura kuti "handivazive ini havasi baba vangu. Tangosangana panze zvakanzi mwanagu handeyi togerwa mahara"

kuri kurehwa imi mai tembi

Amai tembi na Baba tembi vakaenda kwachiremba mai tembi ndokuitwa operation zvakanzi nachiremba operation yamaitwa iyi zvotoreva kuti muchaita 2 weeks pasina bonde .
Zvakanzi na mai tembi, "mazvinzwa ka baba tembi"!
Zvakanzi nababa tembi "hongu ndazvinzwa but apa doctor arikureva imimi mai tembi."

chinoz vaita accident

JUDGE: Ko chinoz tanzwa kuti watsika vanhu 5 muroad ,chii chaitika
CHINOZ: Zvaitika ndezvizvi vakuru, mota yangu yaputika vhiri ndichi driver mukamwe karoad
JUDGE: e-e?
CHINOZ: Saka kuleft kweroad kwakune vanhu 4 ku right kune 1 ,ndikati rega ndiende kuright zviri nani ndiuraye 1
JUDGE: Zvamamafunga wani.. ko chii chazoiitika kuti muuraye 5?
CHINOZ: Chazoitika ndechekuti 1 uya anga ari kuright azotizira kuleft kune 4 vaya ,saka pandati nditevere 1 uya bva ndabatanidzira nevamwe 4 vaya

kucha naya hako asi...

Mamiriro ekunze:  Ve met department vanoti gore rino mvura iriko yakanaka  asi kukohwa  kuchava kushoma nokuti zvirimwa zvichashaya anosakura nenyaya yeWHATSAPP

chinoz - tsamba ku chimoko

WADIWA GURORIYA

Baby ndokuda kunge nyoka yakafa.
Ndikakufunga ndichiwacha ndinonanika bucket. 
Kwese kwandinoenda handidi kukushaya setoilet. 
Babie l luv yu lyk new radio no gruuu no shhhhhh
Babie unoziva? Ndikakufunga ndichigeza ndomedza sipo!
Urigudo rakaba chibage chemoyo wangu, ndiwe wega
channel inobata pa satelite dish rangu re wiztech
Dai uri nyika yebhora ndaikuita Brazil ndichigohwesa pandodira.
Babe ndokuda zvekuti dai uri mari ndaikumbira mai vako vandikweretese ndoregedza kudzosera chikwereti.
Ndikakufunga ndinobva ndapusa kunge fish dzemugaba. 
Ndikakufunga ndichidya sadza ndoseva pasi. 
Ndikakufunga ndiri pachigayo ndogaisa madhongi. 
Babe unondizadza nerudo se memory card.
Ndokunonga urikure seblue tooth, ndokuda zviri extra kunge mega juice.
Handimbokuisa pabarika kunge dual sim hanty!
Zvekuti pandichakuroora . ndichagara newe kunge  birth certificate. Uchange  uri mumaoko kunge  cellphone...
Dai wainga uri chipfeko  ...u were going to b my 1 underwear ......

Ndini wako anokudisisa kunge air time ye net 1

Chinoz

Monya rekuburitsa mweya mubhazi

Monya ranga riri mubhazi ndokubva rasura vanhu ndokutanga kuti ummmm ndiyani iyeye asina hunhu?
Zimonya ndokusimuka ndokuti "ndini ndasura ndicharamba ndichisura kusvika tasvika kugweru."

nda buda bhobho

"Touch is a move",  mwana akadeedzera kunababa vake mushure mekunge vabata kanyama kadiki mundiro yavaidya nemwana wavo. 
Mundiro mainge masara nhengo mbiri hombe neduku. Baba vakatora kanyama kaye ndokuisa pamusoro pehombe . 
"Ko baba makuita sei"kamwana kakabvunza kakatyamara.
"Ndabuda bhobho waruza" mudhara vakapindura kumwana

chinoz vakapfeka jersey re brazil

Chinos akapfeka jersey rake re Brazil achienda mutown ndokusangana nemapurisa. 
Zvikanzi nemapurisa, "Nekurohwa kwamakaita ne Germany muchiri makangopfeka jersey reBrazil!"
Zvikanzi na Chinos, "Zvichashamisira here? Inga imi wani makangorohwa wani nemapositori asi nanhasi makapfeka uniform yechipurisa!!"

chinoz - sangweji

chinoz akabatwa paborder achida kusmuggler chipembere kuti apinde nacho mujoza.
nekukurumidza chinoz akatora ma slice maviri echingwa ndokunamatidza 1 kumagaro echipembere then imwe pamberi nechepamhuno chaipo.
mapurisa akabvunza chinoz kuti ko iyi yaa yipi manje zvakanzi na chinoz "Wakatanga riinhi mutemo wekuudzira vanhu nyama dzekuisa pakati pechingwa, ndisiyei ndipinde ne sangweji yangu".

tione number yawafona...

mumwe murume akakwira kombi ndokuda kuona pfungwa dzevarume vaivemo kwakudialer 3 digits ndokunyepedzera kufona hanzi 
"sorry babes handichakwanisa kuuya ndakwira kombi nemrume wako",

 kkkkkkkkkkk hanzi varume vakavava zvikanzi tione number yawafona 

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