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Huya pano ne chiNdebele

Teacher: ndiani anogona ndebele munomu?
Kid: ini ndokiya kiya
Teacher: ko kana uchida kuti kumuhu huyapano unoti chiii?
Kid: buya lapa
Teacher: ok .kokana wakuda kuti adzokere kwaabva unotichii?
Kid: azvinetsi ndongoenda kwaabva ndoti buya lapa futi

Michero pa whatsapp

One day, fruits wr playin a game on watsapp...

GRAPE: i look like e human eye

MANGO: i look like a human heart

BEANS: i look like a human kidney

MANGO: kkk. Iwe Bhinzi usanyepere kuzungaira

BANANA: 👀

BEANS: Banana uriwe ibva wati zii hako

   Dohwe left group

Flag ye Zimbabwe

Teacher: ko black colour iri paflag yedu yeZimbabwe yakamirirei?
Mwana: Load shedding

Hokoyo ne police

Shingi angaari mbavha, paakafa coffin rake rakaramba kudzika muguva.
Pastor ndokuita munamato zvikaramba pastor wechipiri, wechitatu zvakaramba
Shamwari yaShingi ndokuti Pastor regai ndikubatsirei, ndokufamba achienda paguva ndokusviko mira paguva achibvaati: 
"Shingi hokoyo nePOLICE!", coffin richibva ratanga kudzika. Wenyu munamato uchanzii?

Ndokupa makumbo

Ndanzi neka babe kepa next door ndibatsireo kuundura huku kana tapedza ndokupa makumbo

Handisi kumhanyisa pfungwa here?

Makumbo akawandisa

Vamwe blaz vakaenda ku pet shop vakati ''i want something special, thats rare, thats exclusive'' 
Akanzi: ''pane imbwa inohukura national anthem'', akati kwete. Ndokunzi ''pane tsoko inogona kuverenga nekunyora'' akati kwete.
Pakazonzii ''pane zongororo rinoita mabasa ese emumba'', akati ''ndipei!''

Asvika kumba akati "zongororo, geza ndiro, wotsvaira nekukorobha mumba mese''. After 30 mins imba was spotless. Akabva ati ''timba nekudiridza garden'', very fast zongororo anga apedza, mface was impressed, akati ''horaiti chienda shops unotenga zvinhu zve b/fast".

Mface akamira 1hr, no zongororo, 2 hrs still no zongororo, after 3hrs akafunga kutevera shops, paakavhura door akawona zongororo akagara pasi akaribvunza nehasha ''ko iwe 
ndakutuma kudhara uchiri kuitei?"
Zongororo akati ''ita steady mhani, ndichiri kupfeka bhutsu MAKUMBO AKAWANDISA!"

Charge Office

Caller: Hallo
Officer: Yes taurai henyu
Caller : kuCharge office here
Officer: Yes ndiko chaiko baba,ndingakubatsireyi neyi baba
Caller: Munotengesa maCharger eNokia

Zvese zvakungotsva

Nyaya yekutsva iyi yanetsa.kwakatanga imba yachiyangwa,kukauya yagono,ndokuzouya complex yekuglen view.ikozvino beans dzangu dzanga dziri pamoto dzatsva

Zvidhura zvema dhora ku Binga

Umwe mface aiita zvekugadzira zvidhuura zvemaUS$. Imwe weekend akagadzira zvidhuura zvema$18 achibva ati regai ndiende nazvo kumachonyonyo ekuBinga achiti havangamboziva kuti hakuna $18 yakabatana.

Akasvikopinda mune kamwewo kashop maitengeswa nekachembere achibva aburitsa $18 yake yakabatana ndokutti, "Maswera here gogo, ndanga ndichikumbirawo change."

Gogaz vakatambira mari ndobva vangoitarisa mbichana vachibva vanyemwerera vachiti, "Ndokupa ari ma$9 maviri here kana kuti ma$6 matatu........."

Mai vanoda rubatsiro

Ndevapi Amai vanoda rubatsiro aps:

  1. Vanotamba paroad show
  2. Vanoyamwisa mwana vakamira
  3. Vanorasira masadza mugarden
  4. Vanotsvaira yard vachiimba kuma 4am
  5. Vanonanika magumbeze aitirwa weti nemwana vasina kuawacha
  6. Vanobvisa mwana madzihwa nehembe yaakapfeka
  7. Vanonwa mvura nechigubhu chinogara nemvura mufridge
  8. Vanopukuta patable nechikorobho
  9. Vanorega macalender emakore akapfuura akaturikwa kumadziro
  10. Vanoswera vakasunga pulling socks mumusoro
  11. Vanoenda kunotenga chingwa vakapfeka night dress
  12. Vanoenda nemwana wavo kunonamatirwa naPastor wavanogara vachinyeya kuti haana mweya.
  13. Vanorara vasati varatidza muenzi paacharara
  14. Vanoenda kunopopotera murume kubasa
  15. Vanoshandisa matooth pick vachidzosera mugaba mune mamwe
  16. Vanoenda kunhamo kumusha vodzoka munhu asati avigwa
  17. Vanokumbira mvura yekubika cerevita yavo panhamo
  18. Vanogezera mazino mukitchen sink

Eria eoenda nengoro yomoto

Sam naEria vakaenda kuchurch, Eria akakumbira jacket raSam sezvo kwaitonhora. Sam akabva arara mufundisi vachiparidza. Akatozopepuka onzwa mufundisi voti "Hoyo Eria muranda washe akatendeka woenda kudenga nengoro yemoto " Sam akati "Mubatei ane jacket rangu " 

Gore rezvi dzidzo - homework

Mwana adzokazve nehomework iyi ndiyo mivhunzo ycho ini ndazvikonewa saka ndauya kwauri:

Q1: rurimi rwenhunzi rune colour yerudzii

Q2: tsvina yemombe inonzi ndove koyemosquito inonzi chii?

Q3: mwana weinda anonzi chii?

Q4: nditaurire kuti average weight yenyuchi ichangoberekwa ichii?

Q5: tsikidzi hadzi inonzi chii nechingezi?

Q6: munhu anoba anonzi mbavha, ko anobirwa wacho anonzi kudii?

Tipeiwo ma castle matatu

A man is dragged 2 church by his wife just after returning from a night club. He starts dozing immediately they enter church. Half awake, with the choir singing, he shouts while removing money from his pocket. "Tipeiwo ma castle matatu, muchinjewo ne ka rwiyo ako".

Zvakutoda bonde

Pakaita bongozozo paCopacabana. Mumwe mukadzi akatenga cascade pane umwe murume zvikanzii, "Ah mukwasha, drink renyu harisi kutonhora wani?" Murume akati zvakutoda Bonde amai. Mukadzi akapopota zvakatyisa achiti ungada bonde neni iwe? Murume uya akazoti, "Kwete amai, Bonde ndiforomani wangu."

Ndoda ana mai vakafa

Mother: Nhai Joe mwanangu wave nemakore mangani?

Son: Ndaane 35 amai.
Mother : Saka kureva kuti hausati wave
nemskana waunoda kuroora here?

Son : Kwete amai ndinaye.

Mother : Kozvino chakumisa chiiko nhai
mwanangu iyezvino kubasa waporomotwa
tarisa makurire ezimba rino rawa kapiwa raunongogara wega. !

Son : Ndicharoora amai kana nguva yakwana.

Mother : Ndiri amai vako Joe nditaurire
chokwadi kana pane zvinonetsa tione zvekuita ?

Son : Chete amai musikana wangu ndomuda kuti ndiputse chitsidzo naye chekupinda
musvitsa tave ne15 yrs tichidanana hazviite.

Mother : Ah 15yrs saka arikuenda kuchikoro here?

Son : Kwete aakutosevenza asi kuti kubva ndichimu pfimba akati haadi kuroorwa
nemukomana ana amai vapenyu.

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