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Gore rezvi dzidzo rapera

Makapedza gore rese muchiti gore redzidzo muchiti murikudzidza maiti school fees yacho yaibvepi? 
Ndoo kwakaenda bonus hakuna munhu anodzidza mahara!

Bonus revanhu vano farira whatsapp

Ndaona payslip yangu yakanzi bonus 100MB data, pandabvunza zvakanzi takaona kuti munenge munokoshesa whatsapp kupfura basa renyu! Ayas ende ndarwadziwa!

Tese tiri varidzi

Hanzi siyana nemukadzi wemuridzi. Asiri muridzi ndiani? Kungoti maridziro, kwekuridzira nechekuridzisa ndozvakasiyana asi tese tiri varidzi

Ndibatire nyanga!

Two boyz dzemombe dzaiita basa rekukwira mombe kana vaenda kumafuro. Umwe aibata nyanga dzemombe mumwe okwira pachuru orova yemombe. Kana apedza mumwe ainobatawo nyanga mumwe wake oitawo. 
Rimwe zuva mumwe apedza kuita akaramba kubatira mumwe wake nyanga. Izvi zvakamugumbura achibva aramwa kufudza mombe ndokutanga kudzokera kumba.
Mvura yakatanga kunaya achibva asvika rwizi rwazara. Akanzwa inzwi remusikana achichema ndokutarisa mumvura akaona musikana ainge onyura. Semukomana aiziva mvura akasvetukira murwizi ndokubatsira musikana uya. Musikana akabva ati sezvo wandibatsira taura chose chaunoda. 
Mukomana akatarisa chimoko akaona chakabatana chakasimba akati. Wati chero chandada? Musikana akati chero chawada ndinoita. Mukomana akati, "ko kana pane mumwe munhu aripo unobvuma kuita zvandinoda here?" Musikana ndokuti hongu. 
Mukomana akatora musikana uya ndokudzokera naye kumafuro kwaiva nemumwe wake. Asvika akati kune mumwe wake. " Kana wanga uchiti wakangwara wairasa." Akadana musikana uya kwaari ndokuti kumusikana. "Ndibatirewo nyanga" achibva atanga kukwira mombe.

Endai muno baisa imbwa

Manzwa here kuti mangwana vose vanembwa mudzimba vaende kunodzibayisa ma jekiseni Ku office ? Saka vaya vanoti varume imbwa chaidzo endai munovabaisa i $5 chete ndatenda

Kusarongekamoxazol, Mapiritsi e January disease

Hawo mapiritsi! Anonzi "Kusarongekamoxazol" Munonwa matatu pazuva kusvika January apera ndeekudzivirira January disease 

group chat ye Real vadyiwa ne Barcelona 4 nya

RealMadrid group chat afta vadyiwa 4-0 ne Barcelona:

Marcelo: haa boys Barca yakurema iyi
Benitez: iwewe unonyanyawo ku over lapper 
Marcelo: Asi ndomatambiro angu ka mudhara 
Ramos: Chitsaga manje ichocho dread .
Pepe: lol messi na Neymar vanondiziva
Varane : haa Pepe nasi moto wangawakawandisa zvesimba zvangazvisingashande 
Cr7 : mxxm 
Bale : Asi mukoma Ronaldo ramarova hapana 
Benzema: mukoma rangovawo demo seravanopfeka kumusana 
Cr7 : hapana ane ballon dor muno saka nyararai
Modric : ballon dor riya makangopiwawo zvekunyarwa Asi murishiri kuna messi 
James : kana Neymar ndi Mudhara kuna cr7
Kroos : haa Isco vanorichengetawo 
Ramos : uyo mphana ndichatomutyora kutraining 
            Cr7 left 
Benitez : cr7 ndotoshaya kuti ndomugarisa bonde Sei 
Jese Rodriguez : wakufunga Bhora manje Mudhara 
Pepe : ndotopindawo ipapo pa Ronaldo

Yambiro kuvanasikana

Mufundisi achiparidza muChechi, "Imi, Vasikana! Dzikamai,muRoorwe! Kwete kuita seNdege yeku Malaysia!"
VaTendi ndokubvunza. "Ndege yekuMalaysia yakaita sei nhai Mufundisi?"
Mufundisi ndokupindura vachiti: "Yakakwirwa nevanhu 200, naNhasi haisati yawanikwa!"

No joy kana sisi vebasa vasipo

Mama vachibvunza sisi: Ko iwe wakazongoenda kuweekend usina kutaura?
Maid: Ah mama, inga ndaka updater status wani pafacebook kuti "Going kumusha for the weekend,will be back on Monday. Murume wenyu akato comenta kuti 'Safe journey, will miss you so much, no joy kana usipo!'"

Rondedzero: Akarumwa nechokuchera

Zimsec 2014

Shona Paper 2

Rondedzero : Akarumwa neChokuchera

Chekuchera chinoruma vakomana. Mukoma aichera pasi ndobva pabuda chekuchera iye ndokutanga kutiza, akamhanya akamhanya akamhanya wanikwe chekuchera chiri kungouya. Vanhu vakatora matemo asi chekuchera hachina kutya,chikati naaaye .Mukoma achida kunoti nzvee nechikwere chehuku ndiye ngaaa kurumwa.. Vanhu vachisvika wanei Aah, arumwa nechekuchera.

Magetsi anouya taka rara wani

Unotonzwa vakuru vachiti hakuna chinouya wakarara. 
Ko magetsi arikuuya takarara wani?

Baba vachida kunyima mwana nyama yeku gocha

Vamwe baba vaida kunyima mwana nyama yavaigocha ndokuzadza mhiripiri panyama. Nyama iya payakanga yoda kundoibva, vakaravira kamwe kanhango vachibva vafinyamisa kumeso kuti mwana awone kuti nyama yaivava zvisingaiti.
Mwana uya akabva ati: "Zvino baba mukadaro panyama saka majiggies hamungaagone. Zvotoda isu tajaira".

Uri mwana here iwe

Mukadzi akabvunza murume wake kuti iwe why usingade kunditengera ma sweet. murume akati uri mwana here

Utivigirewo maChelsea

Message from gogo varikumusha Muzarabani:
To Muzukuru ariku Harare 
Kisimusi zvawati urikuuya kumusha ndapota undiigirewo Chelsea yacho ndimboidyawo ndanzwa nekudadirwa , aripano Chelsea yadyiwa aripapo takadya Chelsea , neuyu wo rombe rokwa Mangandu uyu Firimoni ndakatomunzwawo futi achitoti tadya Chelsea aaàa kwete muzukuru chimbouya nayo kuno timboirakashawo , kana ukaita dziri mbiri Chelsea dzacho

Zvinhu zvisingachataurwi nemazita muZimbabwe

Zvinhu zvisingachataurwi nemazita muZimbabwe:

  • Aenda - Magetsi
  • Adzoka - Magetsi
  • Haisi kubuda - Mvura
  • irikunetsa - Network
  • Yarohwa futi - Chelsea
  • Adonha futi - Mugabe

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