Find by tag

Makawandisa, hamukwani!

President Robert Mugabe visited Chinoz at his one-roomed house & he knocked on the door.
Chinoz: Ndiyani ?
RGM: I am his excellency; the head of state and gvt; the commander in chief of the Zimbabwe defence forces; the chancellor of all state universities; the first and permanent secretary of revolutionary party  of zanu pf, the father of Chatunga, the most educated president in the world and the president of the republic of zimbabwe, cde Robert Gabriel Mugabe.
Chinoz: ah makawandisa hamukwani ndine nzvimbo yemunhu one chete!

mushonga weku booster businesse

Jonso aive neshop asi yaisatengwa nekuda kubooster business  akaenda kun'anga ndokunzi auye nechiropa chemunhu. Iye nekutya kuuraya munhu akabva aenda nechembudzi. Asvika kuye n'anga ndokuita zvayakaita zvikanzi mangwana chaiye uchaona maresults. Mangwana acho achisvika pashop akaona pasinga pindike nembudzi!

pipe ye oxygen

l went to see my real friend ku hospital sezvo aisanzwa bhoo ,ndakasvikoona akaiswa pa oxygen hei hana yangu yakatanga kurova.ndakanomirawo paside pembhedha ,shamwari yangu yakabva yatora kapepa ne pen zvaainge apihwa kuti agonyorera zvaanenge achida sezvo anga asichagone kutaura ,akanyora ndokundipa ,asi ini wacho njere dzainge dzotorasika ndangoisa kapepa kaya muhomwe ndichiti hapana zvisvinu ndozonoverengera kumba. tichiripo shamwari yangu yakabva yafa 

tapedza kumuradzika ,sekuru vemufi vakazonditi ko kapepa kaya kainge kakanzi chii 

ndakakaburitsa semunhu aisaziva kuti kanei ndokuverenga pamwechete 

(kainge kakanzi):

"WAKATSIKA PIPE INOSUPLIER OXYGEN SHAA"

Nharo dzeku bhawa

This old man akabva kubhawa akabatwa ne beer, ndokuti kune mukadzi wake ndipo bible, mudzimai ndokuita saizvozvo, mudhara ndokuvhura hake chapter yaMatthew overenga, suddenly bvaangoti "yaaa vanhu vane nharo" ndokuti kune mudzimai wake "mangwana kana wakuenda kuChurch undimutsewo nhaika" Mangwana vakamuka ndokubuda vese nguva dzekuenda kuChurch, vasvika pano pararana road yekuChurch neyekubhawa, mudhara ndokutora bible zvikanzi "mai mwana ndokuona wabva kuChurch rega ndimbono rakidza vanhu vaindiitisa nharo kubhawa nezuro kuti Matthew ina double T..

chinoz achinyora zamanishoni

MuExam yeGeo CHINOTIMBA anobvisa  hembe dzose osara nebrief.
Invigilator: ko zvadiizve nhaivaChinotimba.
chinoz: ndiri kuanswer  number 4 yakanzi answer in brief...

ebola mu zimbabwe

Zimbabwe today recorded its first Ebola case in Hurungwe.This morning at the district hospital a healthy baby boy named Ebola Moyo was born at 05:27hrs to happy parents Fred and Monica Moyo....

chinoz akananga jobheki

Rimwe zuva Chinoz akafunga kuenda kuSouth Africa, ndokutenga ticket number 8 rebhazi rePathfinder.

Sezvo bhazi rePathfinder rine mamwe maseats epasi mamwe emudenga,Chinoz rake renumber 8 renge riri repasi asi iye akaita nharo ndokunogara repamusoro number 40.Murume enge and number 40 paakauya Chinoz akaramba kusumuka. Murume uya akano reporter kusecurity yekwaPathfinder asi vakamukoniwa.

Mumwewi blazo ndokusimuka akandozevezera Chinoz munzeve,pakarepo Chinoz ndokurongedza zvinhu zvake ndokuenda paseat repasi.

Vanhu vakashamisika vakabvunza murume uye kuti akange amuzevezera kuti kudii, iye ndokuti ndamuudza kuti maseats epamusoro arikuenda kuMalawi epasi ndiwo arikuenda kuSouth Africa

Unobatika papi?

Muface: uri pa whatsapp?
Chimoko: aiwa
Muface: ko facebook?
Chimoko: aiwa
Muface: ko twitter hayo?
Chimoko: handipo
Muface: saka uri pai?
Chimoko: ndiri pa eco-cash

Private number hello...

Takagara mukombie fon yevamwe blaz yorira, ndobva vakumbira kuti driver adzikise volume...kombie yese vanhu ziiii. Blaz: Private number....Hallooo????, eish!!! "handisikunzwa chinhu",(ndobva aisa fon paloud speaker). Caller: (Shouts) "Ndati Wadyirei polony yemwana?"

Unomwa here Joe?

Mukoma Joe vakazvinhongerazvavo bhebhi kubhawa ndokunanga kumba . vasvika bhebhi rakabvunza zvikanzi "unonwa here Joe " blaz vakati vanotonwa heavy. vaviri vakanakidzwa usiku hwese pasina protection.
Kwaedza, mukoma vakaona bhebhi ravakunwa maARV vakati "bhebhi haudaro sei usina kutaura kuti uri positive?" bhebhi "inga joe ndakabvunza wani nezuro kuti unonwa here ukati unonwa"

Nzvimbo neva gari vemu Harare

Vagari vemu Harare vakamira so:
MBAVHA - Mbare
ZVIGURE -Mabvuku
MAHURE -Chitungwiza
MAPOSITORI -Epworth
N'ANGA -Mufakose
MASOJA -Dzivarasekwa
MANINJA -Kambuzuma
MABOORANGOMA - Glen Norah
MaSALAD - Avondale
GUD GUYZ - Budiriro
MaSEWAGE - Glen View
MaBabe AKANAKA- Waterfalls
MaBHARANZI - Warren Park.
MaFISH-BONGA - Kuwadzana
TYPHOID - Hatcliffe
MaWAR-VET - Malbereign.
MADOFO - Zimre/Ruwa
maZHING-ZHONG -Borrodale
MaHUSTLER - Ximex Mall
MaHWINDI - Highfield
MAPENZI - Braeside
ZVIPOKO - Tafara
AIDS - Avenues!
VAROYI - Tafara
CHOLERA- Mabvuku
NHAMO YAKAPETWA KATATU - Matapi
VASINGAGEZE - Arcadia
VANA SIYA YECOK- Chikurubi ne Morris Depot
MANOSE - Greencroft
MAKUHWA - KwaMachipisa
VANOZVIDA IVO VARI MURUKISHENI - Glen Norah
NZARA- Rugare
MAROVHA- Braeside
ZVIDHAKWA- National
VEGWAZH - MT Pleasant/ UZ
VEKUMUSHA. - Charlotte Brooke/ Crowhill
BILHAZIA - Sunningdale/Mukuvisi
MACROOK - Kamfinsa
ZVIDHAFU - Eastlea
Kwako ndekupi kana 

Ungaziva bhinzi yakonzeresa?

Rough pakutaura . A prostitute got pregnant. Relatives asked who the father was and she replied "Zvakafanana nekuti wadya beans wosura , ungazive kuti beans yakusurisa ndeipi?"

Tsumo - 2013 bhomba ku Zengeza

****Tsumo Dza 2013****

1. Makanganwa chekuzengeza nehope.
2. Zvinhu zviedzwa n'anga yekuzengeza yakaboilisa gunpowder ikaputikirwa.
3. Natsa kwaunobva kuzengeza kwaunoenda kunezvoputika.
4. Ateya mabhomba muzengeza haachatye kusviba magaro5.Nhamo inhamo zvayo mheni haigarwe nayo mu2 rooms

Ndaibva

Rimwe benzi rakagara haro mumuti...ndobva rangozvidonhedza pasi vanhu vaiva pasi vakati ko chii zvikanzi ndiri avocado...ndaibva

Mibvunzo mu paramende

Mibvunzo muparamende

Biti: ini ndakaita financial law
Gono:ini ndakaita company law
Chinamasa: ini ndakaita medical law
Tomana: ini ndakaita criminal law
Chinoz: ini ndakaita battery low

Get nyambo in your inbox!