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Munamato pa barika

Maiguru namainini varipa barika,zvkanzi namainini sadza raibva maiguru namatai tione kudya, zvikanzi namaiguru tsinzinai tinamate: "kwaMure hwa,Mutoko,Bulawayo, Gweru, Harare, Chipinge, Masvingo, kwese ikoko hakuna varume here kuzouya pamurume wangu? Amen"

Mangwana acho mainini ndokunamatawo: "ukasafarira sipo ,dombo,tauro ,teethbrush, unosiiwa.amen"

mari yembwa

Just imagine uriwe unganzwa sei...
Toti une imbwa yako ine zvimbwanana, wobva wazvitengesa. Wosheedza shamwari yako monodya mari iya. Shamwari yako yadhakwa yotanga kudeedzera ichiti, "todya mari yembwa..!!!"

kuroodza sisi

KUROODZA SISI:
1. Makamupfimbirei - $400
2. Mambopuhwa mvumo nani - $200
3. Vhura muromo wababa - $100
waAmai - $200
waMufundisi - 100
4. Munenge mune mari - $500
5. Ma directwa nani pano - $145
6. Munenge muno supporter ma
Warriors - $1000
7. Dombo wenyu akangwarisa - $800
8.aaah, matsamwa kaimi? - $200
9.mombe dzinotsika - $5000
dzisingatsike - $2000
dzemukaka - $3000
10. Makavhotera Zanu - $10 000.
11.Hamusi veku church kwedu - $300
12.Hamuna ku aina hembe - $100
13.Ma suit enyu anenge emubhero - $500
14.Murikuzevezeranei.mirikutireva mumba medu - $200
15.Laptop yababa ne tablet ramai - $2500
16.Mota yenyu yasiya madhindo patsvairwa nambuya - $100
17.Hamuchasekereri matsamwa futi - $300
18.Madrink amauya nawo hhaasi kupwititika chando - $50
19.Pane atimhoresa nemaoko arikunuhwa fodya - $20
20.Matenga grocery rakawandisa kutiita vanokara - $500

Chinoz - vaimbi vepa Indipendence

Chinoz vanyora list yemaMusicians achaimba paIndependence gala 
  1. Areki Macheso
  2. Ja Pureza
  3. Soja Ravhu 
  4. Kira Ti 
  5. Toki Vhaibhusi 
  6. Se Karazi 
  7. Dhokota Simuzi 
  8. Pita Moyo 
  9. Redhi Swanda 
  10. Metiyasi Mhere 
  11. Renadhi Zhakata
  12. Charusi Charamba 
  13. Wingi Dhi 
  14. Roki 
  15. Arekisio Kawara
Endi meni mo

Nyangwe iyo xeno, hati uyiko!

wotonzwa 00263 hanzi chiuya kumusha unorohwa ne xeno. Hatiuyeko zvekumhanya! Tichauya kana mombe dzakupinzwa mudanga ne remote

Chinoz - Kubviswa zino haisi nyore!

Reporter: Chinozi unoti chii nenyaya ye xenophobia? 
Chinoz: Zinophobia vanhu vazhinji inovabata. Ndosaka vasingaende kwa dentist.! Kubviswa zino haisi nyore.

Chinoz - Mabori anonzii neChirungu

Mwana: "Dad, mabori anonzii nechirungu?"
Chinoz: "Nxaaa haa ndiri kutambisa mari yangu. Nanhasi hauzive Eyes Cream?"

Manje ini ndoku....

Patient: Doctor ndine problem
yekukanganwa.
Doctor: Zvakatanga rinhi?
Patient: Zvechii??
Doctor:  manje ini ndokumamisa

Chinoz - Zino for beer

Reporter: Nhai vachinoz munotii nenya ye xenophobia irikuitwa ku South Africa?
Chinoz: Okay nyaya ye zino for beer hainetse ini ndinongoti vharai mabhawa arikutengesa zino for beer mosiya atajaira anoda cash for beer

Xenophobia iri nani

Kwaungada kuenda ndokupi?

  • South Africa - Xenophobia  
  • Nigeria - Bokohamphobia 
  • Iraq - war,Islamic statephobia
  • DRC - Ebolaphobia 
  • Zimbabwe - Nzaraphobia  

Ini ndoti kuXenophobia kuri nani,better kurohwa ndakaguta amheno imwi

Ndapfinyira mubhutsu

Ku creche kwandinoshanda kunekamwana kainzi Vicky. 👼Ende kari cute futi kari sweet. Nezuro toda kuchaisa ndakakawana kachifirira kupfeka maboots ako.👢 Ndakasvika ndokukabatsira. Veduwe raiva basa maBoots aiita semadiki nemaSize 2 chaiwo. Ndakaita 5minutes chaidzo. Ndapedza ndoti rega ndiende zvikanzi naVicky,'Teacher' mandipfekedza banana.🍌'nditarisewo ndione zveshuwa ndapfekedza mwana banana. 😱 Hapaya pakunobvisa maboots aya. Dzakaita 3minutes dzekukurura bhutsu chete. Ndakazokunda ndokukapfekedza zvakanaka - zvenharo zviya zvekutanga zvakare,,, Ndapedza ndonzwa koti zve,'Teacher ', maboots aya haasi angu!' Ndakamerera nehasha asi semunhu anoshanda nevana ndakaita moyo murefu ndokukakumura maboots aye. Ndapedza ndikabvunza kuti ko ako aripi nhai Vicky. Zvikanzi, angu maboots asara kumba. Aya ndakaasiirwa nesister yangu, ndamapfekedzwa namama. Ndaka bvunda nehasha. Asi basa rangu ndinoita nemazvo. Takapfekedzana maboots aye zvekare. Ndapedza zvikanzi na Vicky,' ko masocks acho?' Apa ndakashaya kuti ndoseka here kana kuchema.😡 Zvinyoronyoro ndakabvunza kuti ko masocks acho arikupi. Shasha ndokutanga kuseka zvayo "yakanditarisa zvikanzi,' 'NDAMAPFINYIRA MUKATI MEMABOOTS ANGU!'

xenophobia - ndakutotya kuvhura zipi

Kungovhura newspaper Xenophobia🔪 Kungovhura whatsapp Xenophobia🔪 Kungovhura Facebook Xenophobia🔪 Kuvhura TV kana Radio ingori Xenophobia🔪 Ipapa ndakutya kutovhura zip....unoiwana irimo futi

Ndipe hembe ndiwache

Bopoto mumba:
Murume - ndaneta newe enda umbonogara kutuma hure twakakuzvara. Mukadzi- Gonai ktaura dadie Murume - haaa haubatsire better uende kutudumba twenyu. Mukadzi - Ungabva wadaro vaberek vangu . Murume - Rongedza twako izvezvi.......... (Phone ringing)
Mukadzi anodaira phone iri pa loud... Mukadzi pa phone: "Hello baba." Tezvara- wakadii mwanangu? Mwana - Ndrinan baba. Tezvara - Ndaisa $1000 mu accnt mako $500 shandsai mumba imwe yasara mogovana ne mukwasha wangu awane yedoro. Mwana - maita basa baba bye. Mukadzi - Wati ndirongedze hembe dzangu ndiite sei? Murume - Ndati rongedza hembe dzako ndiwache.

N'anga yaka ngwara

Imwe n'anga yakanga isina chirwere chayaitadza kurapa,asi pachirwere chimwe chete yaida $2 000.Kana ikatadza kurapa chirwere chako yaikupa mari yava $4 000. Zvino vamwe baba vakati regai ndimbodya mari yen'anga mahara, dobva vati ndinoti kana ndadya chinhu handinzwi taste. Zvikanzi nen'anga, bvisai mari yenyu. Akabvisa. zvikanzi nen'anga torai mushonga pasherefu namba 12 munwe ka1. Vakatora vakanwa vakanzwa iri weti. Vakajamuka vachiti... murikundi nwisa weti, zvikanzi warapika wavakuziva kuti wanwa weti chienda.
Baba vakaenda vasina kana mufaro.Next vakafunga zano, mangwana ndokudzoka. Kwakuti ndine dambudziko rekukanganwa zvakaitika nezuro chaiye. N'anga ikati bvisai mari. Vakabvisa. Zvikanzi.... torai mushonga pasherefu 12 munwe. Baba vaye vakati.... Number 12? Aaa moda kundimwisazve weti futi zvikanzi warapika chienda.........

mwana akaona muroi

Mwana: Nhai Daddy hanti varoi vanofamba vasina hembeka?  
Dad: Hongu, wakamuonepi muroi?  
Mwana: ndakamuona nezuro maskati pandakabva kuchikoro, ndakawana mama vachiroyewa nemuroi pasofa, but vakange vatomubata vachitokudaidzai vachichema kuti daddy, daddy, daddy kani !

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