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Omo ne Surf zvinoburitsa furo here

Mwana muClass:

"Sir, ko tika mixer Omo ne Surf washing powder panobuda furo here?

Teacher: "Yes panobuda furo, handidi zvikubvunzwa zvisina basa makuseni so mhani"

Mwana achizevezera munzveve yeClassmate yake: "What a stupid answer panoita furo cei isu tisati taisa mvura UMMMM TICHAFOIRA GORE RINO"

Tsamba ku mukwasha

Tsamba kumukwasha.

Anodiwa mukwasha Todd.Ndinotenda chose negirosari ramakatitengera bt mukaka uya unonzi Handy Andy watikuwadza nemanyoka tinovimba kt mudumbu mavhunduka chirungu, hupfu huya hunonzi Vim hausi kutsengeka zvakanaka asi totenda kuti wakati mbembe kuchena, madhuringi anonzi Sunlight irikupupuma neMukwa haasi kutapira takutowedzera shuga, kozoita tsotso dziya dzinonzi Spaghetti dziri kunanauka ukadziisa pachoto.

kana mumhu akuti urimbwa

Ukanzwa munhu achikuti urimbwa, chibva wamuruma, akakuti dhongi chibva wamukika, hameno akakuti uri hure unoita sei....wongoonawo zvaungaita.

mapurisa kwaMacheso

Umwe mukadzi akafonera mapurisa kuti: "murume wangu aenda neGirlfriend saka ndave
kutevera kwavaenda. Ndine pfuti zvekuti ndikavawana ndiri kushudha vose" 
MaPurisa akabvunza kuti vaenda kupi? Mudzimai uya akati; "Vaenda kuBand kwaMacheso kuVITO" 

Mapurisa akabva atora mota ndokumhanya kuti vatangire mai vaya kusvika. Mupurisa akasviko bvutira Macheso Mic ndodaidzira achiti,"
"KANA MUINE MURUME WEMUNHU ARIMUNO NEGIRLFRIEND MUKADZI WAKO ARI KUPINDA MUNO IZVOZVI ANE PFUTI YEKUSHUDHA IWE NEGIRLFRIEND YAKO MOSE" 

Hanzi door rakaita duku varume vose vachitiza kusanganisira naiye Macheso wacho.

miracle sex ya wasu

Wasu in court -
Judge:  "Imi wasu mukupiwa mhosva yekushandisa mubobobo paCopa Cabana munotii nazvo? "
Wasu: "Pakaitwe miracle money vanhu vakaite happy pakazoitwe miracle baby ndokubva vaite jubilate asi ini pandangoite miracle sex ndabva ndaitwe arrest why???"

Zamanishoni rechiShona

Shona Paper 1 Time 1hr 30min Can You Pass?

1. Tonde akasangana naJohn achienda kumunda, Ndiani aienda kumunda?

A .John 
B.Tonde 
C.Vose 
D.Hapana

2. Chii chatinokama kana taenda kudanga?

A. Mombe
B. Mukaka
C. Zamu
D. Nyatso

phone yakadonha woseka asi...

Phone yako ikadonha worwadziwa asi President wako akadonha woseka ...... shame

Tinokuya dovi

Mughetto vanhu vanonyora paghedhi pavo kuti, "TINOKUYA DOVI" hamuna kuenda kuchikoro.......
Munofanira kunyora kuti "TINOKUYA NZUNGU KUSVIKA DZADOVI"
ndoshona chaiyo, munogokuya dovi kuti zviite sei......

Baba vangu imbavha, mai vangu...

Mudzidzisi akabvunza vana vose mumwe nemumwe mabasa evabereki vavo kamwe kakataura: "baba vangu imbavha ,mai vangu ihure..."

Teacher vakatsamwa ndokuendesa mwana kwaheadmaster. Mushure mwana akadzoka achidya apple teacher ndokubvunza: "wanzi kudii nahead?" 

Kakapindura: "hapana vandipa apple vakatora number dzamai vangu chete..."

makandi chembedza asi...

Zvandaona zvakanyorwa pane chimwe chi old model Bus chekuMbare ..“Makandichembedza iko zvino hamuchadi kundikwira”

Yekumba kwenyu munoroverawo here

Dzimwe mhinduro dzinopedza power. Mudhara Danda akapinda mukombi kwakurovera door achivhara. 
Driver: "Nhai mudhara, fridge yekumba kwenyu munorovera door saizvozvo here?" 
Mudhara Danda: " handisati ndamboivhara ndiri mukati!!!!!"

Mwari vano davira minamato

Pengai kubva ari mudiki aiita munamato kuna Mwari:

 'Ishe wangu ndikakura ndichada kugara ndiri mumota hombe, ndichifamba nevakadzi vakawanda vakachena ini ndiine zibag rakazara mari.

Mwari haana kumurasisa. Akanzwa minamato yake. Izvozvi ndi conductor mubhazi ra Munhenzva.

Mwana wemu purisa achivhara nyaya

A ZRP cop asks his son why he got low marks in his exams. Son replied with $5 note in his hand, "Batai makadai mudhara, ipere nyaya iyoyo."

Tiri kunzi tine nhumbu ya bhiridha

Daddy vanobva kubasa vanodana vadzimai vavo kuti vagare pedyo navo pasofa.

Daddy :Darling hanti pamuchato wedu mufundisi akati tava nyama imwe.
Madam : Hongu ! Kana bible chairo rinodaro.
Daddy : Izvi zvichimborevei??
Madam : Zvinowana imi zvawana ini uye mhosva yenyu imhosva yangu.
Daddy : Very good , zvino tirikunzi takamitisa musikana wedu webasa.
Madam : iiiiiiiiiihhhh!!! Inga zvatiwandira tirikunzizve tine nhumbu yabhiridha.

Dzimba Dzakaoma!

Dzimba dzakaoma vakomana.Ndakazviwanira zvangu babie rangu raive steady ndikati regai ndiroore hangu.Takabva taita kamwana kwedu.Sezvo mari yainetsa mukadzi akati otsvaga basa tibatsirane.Pasina nguva ndakanzwa mukadzi oti awana basa pane imwe lodge.Zvakadaro takabva tatama kubva pamba yevabereki tave kuno lodger kweduwo sezvo mari yakanga yave kubatana manje.Problem yakazouya pandakati regai ndirovere chipikiri chekuisa picture frame.Aaa ndakatambura coz madziro ainge akaoma iwayo.Ndipo pandakaona kuti Dzimba dzakaoma.

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