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enda zvako January

Pawakauya uri mutsva vanhu vakaridza mhururu nemheterwa,kongonya nebhamujaivhi zvikasendekerwa iwe.Munhu wese akatubwida nemufaro achikufarira.Musi wacho wakarara uchipembererwa,vazhinji vakarara vakasvinura.Hapana akafungidzira kuti uzere nekuomera nekunyima kwakadai.lye zvino hapana achada kunzwa nezvako.Watinhongesa svosve nemuromo.lye zvino hapana achada kunzwa nezvako.Chienda zvako usadzokazve nekuti hapana achakuda,watitambudza iwe zvakwana.Enda zvako nekunyima kwako,enda zvako iwe JANUARY

Pakuroorana pane zvinoregedzwa

Gal: Tiikaroorana unofanira kuregedza fodya
Boy : Horaiti
Gal : nedoro
Boy : iri bho.
Gal : hapasisina zvekuenda ku Down Town , kana kuBowls Club, ku eclipse toenda tese kana uchienda.
Boy : zviri munzeve
Gal : wosiyana nenyaya yekunoona bhora nemaface ako totsvaga Dstv redu bhora roonerwa mumba.
Boy: ka1
Gal : hapana chimwe chandasiya here? Chii chimwe chaunoda kurega?  Boy: ndoda kurega ukuroora!

handei ku gochi gochi

Shamwari yangu ngaiuye kumba kwedu hanzi handei kunogocha ini ndabva ndatenga magaka nematomato netuma onions tasvika pabraai stand akubudisa chibage chinyoro ndasiya ndamutema nemagaka ini

driver dzora volume

Vamwe mai mukombi vakafonerwa vakati driver ndinokumbirawo udzikise volume yeradio yako. Driver akadzikisa volume vanhu vese mukombi vakanyarara. Mai vaye vakaisawo foni yavo pa loud vakati: "Hallo baba vaChipo matiiko?" zvikanzi  nemurume: "Ndati sei wasiya usina kurasa weti yako irimubucket?"

iwe bata imba

Chidhakwa chabva kubhawa chasvika pamba pacho chirikutadza kupinza key kuti chivhure door nekubvunda nedoro ,neighbour comes, "let me unlock the door for you",and chidhakwa replies "Dnt trouble yoself iwe bata imba chete kuti isa sheka sheka".

kusheedzwa kwe register

Kubva tiri mafomu 1 mateacher edu aisheedza register achitanga nesurname e.g Peter Gomo ainzi Gomo Peter. Zvakazopera tamu form 3 pakauya mumwe mface ainzi Admire Jendera

Tshaka Zulu

Teacher asked Themba how tall was Tshaka? 
Themba: 1 km Sir,
Chinoz vakabva vapwatika havo nokuseka.....
Teacher: unosekei Chinoz? And he said, zvataurwa naThemba ... 
Teacher: chindiudza answer iwewe.....
Chinoz: 30 cm! hanti zvanga zvakanyorwa kuti Tshaka Zulu was a ruler..

Vahozi pa barika

Husband brings second wife home to 1st wife.. Introduces her and 1st wife prepares food for them. After eating the happy 1st wife takes second fiddle for tour of their homestead. Vasvika padanga maiguru explains.
"Mainini ndo mombe dzedu idzi 100, dzenyu 50 dzangu 50".. mainini was shocked. They go padanga rembudzi.. "dzenyu 15 dzangu 15".. Vanotenderera and mainini is all smiles coz this woman is so understanding and amazing..
Then vanosvika pamakuva emumusha and there are 4 graves there and maiguru explains. "This first one is for amwene.. She was talkative, kuda kuonesa maningi.." "Pa5 days chete ndaroorwa havana kunditorera 5mins changa chava chando..".. 
And this second one kkkk kababamunini kakati ndarara nako kakuda kuudza mukoma wako." Mangwana acho chaiwo kakarova pasi." Kikiki.. 
"Iri rechitatu iye murume wedu uyu kundivigira mumwe mukadzi, kana ndimiwo.." Ndakangomutambira sanhasi uyu haana kundinetsa kuuraya mangwana acho chaiwo.." 
This fourth .........
Gules havana kuzombopedzisa, mainini vanga vakuSprinter kudzokera kumba, kutora handbag ravo.. Havana kuzomboonekwa futi!!!!

ku testa mudzimai

Hanzi mumwe muface akaroora akachata saka aibvunza kuti ndoziva sei kuti mkadzi wangu i virgin.Zvikanzi neumwe, "Unotenga virgin test. Paint ye Black neye Red ne Sando." Zvikanzi ndodii nazvo? Zvikanzi, "Wopenda rimwe jende red rimwe black, wobvisa bhurugwa. Ukanzwa mukadzi akati aaah handisati ndamboona machende akadai worova munhu nesando"

Officer, haasisipo....

Imwe shasha yakapfuura nepacamp in tha morning ndokuona officer vachiita mapress up's zvikanzi "Officer munhu wamuri kukwira haasisipo!"

Chirwere chakaoma ichi

Paive panyaradzo apo mbatya dzeimwe pfambi dzaigovewa,yakange yafa neAIDS.Ambuya vaigova mbatya vakabva vaona G string ndokuti shuwa chirwere ichi chakaipa kubva chadya bhurugwa remuzukuru wangu kusiya tambo chete.

ndaibva

Rimwe benzi rakagara haro mumuti...ndobva rangozo zvidonhedza pasi vanhu vaiva pasi vakati ko chii zvikanzi : "ndiri avocado... ndaibva"

Haisati yava nemu namato

Hanzi Mfundisi akanzi huyai mundinamatirewo nemurwere. Paakasvika achida kunamata akavhunza kuti munonzwei, zvikanzi Ebola . Mfundisi akabva abuda achifambisa achiti haisati yavanomunamato wayo.

buda maari iwe dhimoni

A pastor was casting out a demon "ndiwe ani?" Demon "ndini vatete vake" Pastor "unodei maari?" Demon "ndoda kuti awinhe lotto this week" Then the pastor lowers his voice and whispers "buda maari upinde mandiri"

Hove yako yafona

Wife:honey hanty u go fo fishing pa maweekends??
Hubby:yes my love.
Wife:Hove yako yafona yati ine nhumbu.

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