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masasi ekupenga - alarm

Wakambopa mukadzi phone, otsvaga oshaya mhosva. After 30mins, obva ati: "alarm iyi makaiisa muchida kuenda kupi?"

Kuwudzana mashoko erudo

Madzimai EkuChurch Paruwadzano..

Pastor: Makapedzisira riini kuudza varume venyu kuti "ndinokuda"
Madzmai: Nezuro b4 bed, nhasi kuseni ndaakubuda, manheru, haa daily etc.
Pastor: Shuwa shuwa here madzmai?
Madzimai: Shuwa pamberi paMwari!!!!
Pastor: Ok.Torai mafon enyu.Mumwe nemumwe ngaasende msge yekuti "Ndinokuda" kumurume wake.

Vese vakasender.

Pastor: Chichinjanai mafon enyu makagarisana kudaro.Vese vakachinjana.
Pastor: Mumwe nemumwe achaverenga mhinduro ichauya pafon yaainayo iyoyo ngatitererei tichinzwa.
Mhinduro dzakatanga kunaya kubva kuvarume vemadzimai eruwadzano. Imi woye:

  1. Asi warasika ??
  2. Aaa ndiyani wangu uyu??
  3. Aa muri kurota here??
  4. Zvaitasei??
  5. What do u mean??
  6. Asi urikuda mari??
  7. Usade kundinzwa wanzwa!'
  8. Asi waroveresa mota yangu kanhi ?
  9. To hell wanzwa!!
  10. Ndiwo majokes andisingadeee!!
  11. Mesge ngaidzokere kumuridzi wayo iyo!!
  12. Uchafa nekurohwa nhasi, pfambi yemunhu, uchandiudza hako manheru kuti message iyo ndeyani?
Garai muchiudzana mashoko erudo veduweee .

mudzimai simbe asi shasha pane zvimwe

Ukaroora mukadzi wako ane usimbe  asi ari shasha pabonde, hama dzinoedza kupopota dzichikuudza zveusimbe hwake. Vamwe vanoti murambe, vamwe vanoti chino nechino asi iwe kuti uvaudze kuti ishasha pabonde zvinogumira parurimi. Unoguma wongoti " kungoti chete hamumuzivi!"

chikafu chemu hotera

Woenda Holiday Inn woona menu yakanzi:
Salted white corn, rare jucy beans, garnished with rift potatoes & topped with organic unprocessed guacamole! - Price : $52,
'Wobva wa Order! Wobva waunzirwa, manhuchu ane nyemba, kotapeya nekambambaira paside ...

# Apo ndopaunatanga kuziwa kuti teacher we English akanga asiri munhu wekutamba naye.

masasi ekupenga - passport

Unonzwa munhu achiimba muchechi kuti "Baba nditumei nyika dzose", apa haana kana passport. 
Haisi miyedzo here iyoyo?

Mugabe akatomirirawo mbeu

hanzi Ku Gokwe vakatomirira chibage chembeu kubva kuna Mugabe kuti vatange kurima, havasi kuziva kuti kana iye Mugabe akatonyoresa rake zita kuti apiwewo chemachembere

mbiri inongofamba kanai waita zvakashata

Pagrade 7 ndakabuda ne 4 units mbiri haina kufamba 
Form 4 ndakabuda ne 9a's hainazve kufamba 
A level kudoita 15 points kana 1 akataura nezvazvo 
Kutororwawo kuchata mbiri kana kufamba 

Nhasi ndarara muchurch kwakusura mbiri ndopoyo famba zvirikungonzi hona momz vekusura vaye

Kisimusi kana munhu akachona

Kana uchida kuona kuti munhu haana marii, taura nezvechristmass uone ,unonzwa oti Haaa Christmas yamazuvano haichashamisiri ,yangofanana nemazuva ose Kkkkk 

Wobbva watoziya kuti MUNHU UYU HAANA CASH

Tsanangudzo yekuti sei vaMugabe vakanonoka ku saina resignation letter

BREAKING NEWS: Hanzi mudhara arikuti kana aapadhuze nekusaina resignation letter arikubva akotsira. Paanomuka votangidzisa kumutsanangurira zviri kuitika

Ngazvigumire kuchingwa... toridonhedza

Ngazvigumire kuchingwa, sugar ne cooking oil ikoko!
Gamba renyu rikangouya ku HWAHWA
Toridonhedza mangwana chaiwo

criminals surrounding bonus

After staging a coup in my house, I went to the sitting room to announce to my kids that my husband was now under bedroom arrest. "Your dad is safe and sound and his security is guaranteed. he remains the father and first in command of this house. However, I am only targeting the FEMALE criminals SURROUNDING HIS BONUS." 

Tsano vachango pinda pa Whatsapp

Kana tsano vako vari vatsva pa WhatsApp unoona

7:30 typing...
8:00 typing...
8:30 typing...
9:00 typing...

Iwe unobva watanga kutya kuti asi madam vaka reporter kuhama dzavo kani? Tsano vanenge varikunyora mashoko makukutu!!
Ndoopaunozoona

Na 10:15 : ndeipu mikiwasha miri seu ne  mhuru

Grade 7 paper - ED Munangagwa

Apa mu Exam re Grade 7 General Paper 2017, wakanyora kuti Vice President we Zimbabwe anonzi Emerson Mnangagwa. Apa harisati ramakwa. Uri pa tight!

jambanja kumakuva - speed

Speed is now measured in "graves per second"!

Muenzaniso: Jah Prayzer's speed is 2 graves per second  

chishamiso kutizirwa ne ane twunhu twake

Ummmmm, in your whole life, pane akambonzwa munhu kana umwe chete hake akatizirwa nemusikana ane mota?