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Vakomana chirungu chakaoma!

Vamwe bhudhi vaitengesa mavegetables kumarket. Kwakauya murungu akathenga neR100 manje bhudhi Havana change. 
Bhudhi kwakuti kumurungu money is together murungu akati what? 
Bhudhi vakati money is meeting, murungu akati: I don't understand. 
Bhudhi vakati money is mixed murungu kwakuti I can't get you 
Bhudhi vakati money is in a relationship, murungu akati come again 
Bhudhi vakati money is joined murungu akati please explain 
Bhudhi vakati money is one. Murungu akati I beg your pardon 
Bhudhi vakati: R1 is here R2 is here R5 is here R10 is here R20 is here R50 is here   achinongedzera R100) akati they are the team.

mazimbo kuda zvinhu

MaZimbabwe munoda zvinhu everything you want it double double unonzwa kuti '' Ndeipi Ndeipi sei sei Bhoo Bhoo , low low, sharp sharp,still still,heavy heavy, Gud Gud, hauite hauite, tapinda tapinda, murape murape, chele chele, kepe kepe, ola ola, chek chek, heya heya, takaipa takaipa, lazy lazy,waya waya, kiya kiya, take take, zakaria zakaria, ndekapi ndekapi, ha ha umm umm, bye bye

Tsamba ya Brighton yekuramba basa

LETA OF STOPING JOB.

Dear bhosi

I ryt this leta to refuz job as gardenboy. Enafu is enafu! Yu didi not add money from long ago. U giv mi young money witch can only by 5 pakets of shuga. Evry moon yu giv mi envilope, I open only to c young money inside. One de I wek ap let bcoz i was seek, madam kik me lyk soka. My board was hate lyk I waz bitten 619 race-ling. This is ova, am also a woman beeing.

Yrs fatefuli

Braai-tone

Zesa ne Zinwa

Zesa & zinwa dai vari vana vangu ndaiiendesa ku children's home vana vepi vanouya mumba nguva yavanoda

Nyamba yaenda ne gero

Vamwe vana vakaoma chokwadi... Mumwe mukomana akatumwa namdhara kunotenga 5kgs dzenyama pakudzoka ndokusangana  nebaby rake zvikanzi nebby 'nyama waiwanepi'? 
zvikanzi nemukomana ndeyekubutcher kwedu kana uchida tora iyi ini ndonotora imwe.
Mukomana akanosvika kumba asina chinhu . Baba vaye vainge vakagara mumba namufundisi zvikanzi nababa mwanangu wauya nenyama here zvikanzi hongu baba
zvikanzi rega ndirodze banga tiicheke. 
Baba vachibuda panze mwana ndokuti kuna mufundisi nyama irikutaurwa nababa ndimi murikurodzerwa banga iro , mufundisi vachinzwa izvi ndokutora bhasikoro ravo  vakananga kumba mwana ndokumhanya kunababa zvikanzi murikurodza henyu banga
asi nyama yatizwa nayo namufundusi. Baba ndokutanga kumhanyisa mufundisi  achishevedzera 'mira nenyama unofunga kuti unotiza ukasvikepi banga ndarodza kare'.

Kachiri kadiki

Conductor: Eeh ambuya mwana ane 3yrs anobhadhara muno mukombi, wenyu anemangani uyo?
Ambuya: Ane 36months.
Conductor: haa ok kachiri kadiki

imba ichi kurukura nekiti

Imbwa: shamwari ini ndagara ndine munyama .
Kiti: why my friend.
Imbwa: anoba anonzi anoba sembwa ,anohura anonzi anohura sembwa ,anokara anonzi anokara sembwa ,chero murombo anonzi imbwa chaiyo, why my friend? why?
Kiti: siyana navo imbwa dzevanhu

mbuya vachinamata parufu

Kwakaitika nhamo kwa Murambinda, zvikanzi zvino yave nguva ye body viewing tokumbirawo mbuya vanamate. Mbuya vakanamata vachiti, "God bless our food, amen." 
Vehukama vakabatikana

Chinoz- hauna kundibata

Chinoz akamuka pakati pehusiku ndokutanga kuseka, mukadzi wake akapepuka ndokubvunza kuti ko urikusekei pakati pehusiku hwakadai ? Chinoz akati. Aaaa ndarota wandibata ne girlfriend yangu yekumufakose saka ndirikuseka kuti hauna kundibata ndanga ndichirota.

Nha

Nhamo na Welly vaidzidza vese mu class imwe. Nhamo aigona chikoro zvekuti bhe! Asi Welly waiva dofo ramakoko, zvekuti aitopona nekukopa Nhamo. Saka Nhamo aka chema chema kuti
shaa usakope zvese nezita unochinja woisawo rako.
Mangwana acho vakabva vapihwa bvunzo reshona raisanganisira tsumo,hoyo Welly avakuti pese pakanzi Nhamo iye kwaakunyora Welly. 

Hedzo tsumo dzaakanyorwa naWelly ,
  1. Welly yemumwe hairambirwi sadza .
  2. Rugare tange Welly 
  3. Kuseka Welly kunge rugare 
  4. Welly iWelly zvayo amai havaroodzwe
  5. Welly neman'a hazvisiyani
  6. iWelly yefodya kuti uku yakarumwa uku inotsva

Dofo re svomhu

Dzaingondinetsa Maths zvaizivikanwa nemunhu wese, Ndaitoti kana ndazama chaizvo ndinenge ndawana 20%. Ndaiwanzowanikwa ndirimuvanhu 4 vekupedzisira pamatest ese. 

Rimwe zuva takanyora test tapedza teacher ndokumaker ndokupedza. Vakazoti zvino akudeedzera munhu nemark yake apa vaifarira kudeedzera vachitanga nepasi kureva kuti anenge afoirisa ndiye aitangwa. Vakadedzera teacher 4%kusvika pa 10% zita rangu musi iwoyo palast four harina kuwanikwa vanhu vakatanga kungonditarisatarisa.

Vakadeedzera kusvika ku20 % handipo wena vaku50% rangu risati radanwa shamwari yangu
yandaigara nayo yakatanga kundirovarova musana kuratidza kuti nhasi wakwapura wena.

Teacher vakuma90% class yese ndobva yanditarisa ini hana yangu ichingoti bha bha ndobva ndanatsozembera chair yangu ndakagadzirira zvino kuchivaratidza  kuti handina  kuchipa musandijairire 95% harisati radanwa wena zvino teacher vasara nebepa one mumaoko ndakabva ndatanga kupfinyira pfinyira shirt yangu kuti sa highest ndinatsotora bepa rangu
nestep yechigentleman. 

Ndakabva ndanzwa teacher voti panebenzi risina kunyora zita pabepa iri ngariuye ritore bepa raro rine 2%

kambo kaya kanonzi "Tapinda Tapinda"

Dj : hello muteereri , wapinda muchirongwa .

Caller: maita vamushamarari, ndine chiziviso. Ndanhongawo bhegi rine chitupa chakanzi Bryan Dzukwa rine mari inoita $300 000

DJ: Hoo maita basa, saka manga muchida kuti muvaudze kwavanokwanisa kukuwanai here.

Caller: Aiwa, maya. Ndanga ndichida kuti mundiridzirewo kambo kaya kanonzi Tapinda Tapinda.!!!

Dzimba dzakaoma vakomana

Dzimba dzakaoma vakomana! Ndakazviwanira zvangu babie rangu raive steady ndikati regai ndiroore hangu.

Takabva taita kamwana kedu. Sezvo mari yainetsa mukadzi akati otsvaga basa tibatsirane. Pasina nguva ndakanzwa mukadzi oti awana basa pane imwe lodge. 

Zvakadaro takabva tatama kubva pamba yevabereki tave kuno lodger kweduwo sezvo mari yakanga yave kubatana manje.

Problem yakazouya pandakati regai ndirovere chipikiri chekuisa picture frame.Aaa ndakatambura coz madziro ainge akaoma iwayo.Ndipo pandakaona kuti Dzimba dzakaoma. 

Munamato pa barika

Maiguru namainini varipa barika,zvkanzi namainini sadza raibva maiguru namatai tione kudya, zvikanzi namaiguru tsinzinai tinamate: "kwaMure hwa,Mutoko,Bulawayo, Gweru, Harare, Chipinge, Masvingo, kwese ikoko hakuna varume here kuzouya pamurume wangu? Amen"

Mangwana acho mainini ndokunamatawo: "ukasafarira sipo ,dombo,tauro ,teethbrush, unosiiwa.amen"

mari yembwa

Just imagine uriwe unganzwa sei...
Toti une imbwa yako ine zvimbwanana, wobva wazvitengesa. Wosheedza shamwari yako monodya mari iya. Shamwari yako yadhakwa yotanga kudeedzera ichiti, "todya mari yembwa..!!!"

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