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Ndipe hembe ndiwache

Bopoto mumba:
Murume - ndaneta newe enda umbonogara kutuma hure twakakuzvara. Mukadzi- Gonai ktaura dadie Murume - haaa haubatsire better uende kutudumba twenyu. Mukadzi - Ungabva wadaro vaberek vangu . Murume - Rongedza twako izvezvi.......... (Phone ringing)
Mukadzi anodaira phone iri pa loud... Mukadzi pa phone: "Hello baba." Tezvara- wakadii mwanangu? Mwana - Ndrinan baba. Tezvara - Ndaisa $1000 mu accnt mako $500 shandsai mumba imwe yasara mogovana ne mukwasha wangu awane yedoro. Mwana - maita basa baba bye. Mukadzi - Wati ndirongedze hembe dzangu ndiite sei? Murume - Ndati rongedza hembe dzako ndiwache.

N'anga yaka ngwara

Imwe n'anga yakanga isina chirwere chayaitadza kurapa,asi pachirwere chimwe chete yaida $2 000.Kana ikatadza kurapa chirwere chako yaikupa mari yava $4 000. Zvino vamwe baba vakati regai ndimbodya mari yen'anga mahara, dobva vati ndinoti kana ndadya chinhu handinzwi taste. Zvikanzi nen'anga, bvisai mari yenyu. Akabvisa. zvikanzi nen'anga torai mushonga pasherefu namba 12 munwe ka1. Vakatora vakanwa vakanzwa iri weti. Vakajamuka vachiti... murikundi nwisa weti, zvikanzi warapika wavakuziva kuti wanwa weti chienda.
Baba vakaenda vasina kana mufaro.Next vakafunga zano, mangwana ndokudzoka. Kwakuti ndine dambudziko rekukanganwa zvakaitika nezuro chaiye. N'anga ikati bvisai mari. Vakabvisa. Zvikanzi.... torai mushonga pasherefu 12 munwe. Baba vaye vakati.... Number 12? Aaa moda kundimwisazve weti futi zvikanzi warapika chienda.........

mwana akaona muroi

Mwana: Nhai Daddy hanti varoi vanofamba vasina hembeka?  
Dad: Hongu, wakamuonepi muroi?  
Mwana: ndakamuona nezuro maskati pandakabva kuchikoro, ndakawana mama vachiroyewa nemuroi pasofa, but vakange vatomubata vachitokudaidzai vachichema kuti daddy, daddy, daddy kani !

nani kuita mupositori

Ukadzidza ne simba unoenda ku UZ mononyimwa chikafu momhanyisana ne police.
Ukaba, unoenda kujeri mononyimwa chikafu momhanyisana ne police. 
Saka ndodini manje, ndava confused... ndagaya ndakuita mupostori , ndomhanyisa police ne tsvimbo!!

interview dze vakomana vebhora

Interviews nevakomana ve nhabvu

Dumisani Mpofu
Interviewer : Dumi, you really seemed to enjoy the game
Dumisani: Yes, the game was very much delicious.

Memory Mucherahowa
Interviewer: Memo, how do you feel about scoring such a beautiful goal? 
Memory: I feel immediately! 

Moses Chunga
Interviewer : So Moses, tell us about your family.
Moses: I have one kid. I also have two brothers. There is one in front of me and one behind me. 

Cephas Chimedza
This interview took place on Cephas's birthday.
Interview: Firstly, Cephas we would like to wish you a happy birthday. 
Cephas: Thank you, thank you, same to you.

Francis Chandida
Interviewer : Francis, you seem to have hit such a rich vein of form and you also seem a lot fitter. What is your secret?
Francis: In the morning, I get up and run away. 

Musareka Jenitala 
interviewer : Musa, you have just played an amazing game to help your team win, where to from here?
Musa: I am going home.

Peter Ndlovu
Interviewer : Peter, those were three beautiful babies you put away behind the net. How do you feel?
Peter: Aah iam so ashamed, I just do not like it when these women tell the whole world.

Johannes Ngodzo
Interviwer : Johannes, how does it feel to be man of the match?
Johannes : Actually yes!

World Cup yenhodo?

Imwe tsanoz yangu yakaenda Joza 1999 yakadzoka ikozvino, ndatoiperekedza kuChitungwiza yanga yakurasika apo kucomplainer non-stop, tichitenderera mumaraini yazondibvunza,"ko nhai asi kuno kwaitambwa world cup yenhodo muroad kuita so many potholes?"

Ndouya nemakonzo mangwana

Ndini uyo kufamba hangu muOld Highfield ndobva ndaona umwe blazo zvikanzi:
 "mukoma ndirikutengesa kitsi iyi inokwanisa kubata makonzo ese ari pan'anda penyu irikuita $2 chete". 
Ini nekusada kutengeserwa chidhuura ndikati thanks wangu ini hangu handina makonzo kumba kwangu, zvikanzi 
"haisi horror stereki mukaitenga nhasi mondipa address yenyu mangwana chaiwo ndouya nemakonzo acho".

musango donha donha

Hanzi pane mufesi asungwa aonekwa achidonha mutwn akanzi ukutedzera president

Ndiri weku Traffic

Pastor vakasvika nepaZRP ndokuona officer vachirava bible. Zvakavakatyamadza vakati, whaat! Mapurisa anoravawo magwaro nhai? Vakabvunza simple qstion yemubhaibheri vakati: "nhai officer ndiani pakati paCAIN naABEL akauraya munin'na wake?"

Officer ndokuti "Pastor bvunzai constable varimucharge office ndovanodealer nedzeMurder, ini ndiri weku Traffic!"

ma results abuda...

ndirikubva kunotora maresults kuchikoro. Hazvina kumbomira mushe.

English. E

Maths. U

Accounts U

Facebook. B

Whatapp. A

kana maroorana zvino pinduruka

VASATI VAROORANA:
# John.... Ndikuona seuri kunonoka
# Mary.... Urikuda kuti ndiende?
# John.... Usafunge izvozvo
# Mary .... unondida here?
#John.... Zvakanyanya
#Mary.... wakambo danana nemumwe munhu here tiri tese?
#John.... kwete.
#Mary.... Uchagara neni nguva dzose here?
#John.... Nguva dzose ndikawana mukana
#Mary.... Uchandirova here?
#John.... kwete!
#Mary.... Ndovimba newe here?
#John.... Yeah!
#Mary.... mudiwa wangu....


VAZOROORANA: Verengai muchibva kuzasi kuenda kumusoro!!

2032 history question

History Exam 2032 
Pindura mibvunzo yese

1.Mugore ra2015 chii chakadonha?
A . Zim dollar 
B . Ndege yekuMalaysia
C . Munhu

2.Chakodonhera payi?
A .Pastock exchange
B .Mugungwa
C .Parukukwe rwutsvuku

3.Zvinofungidzirwa kuti chii chakakonzeresa?
A .Huori
B .Kuvhuvhuta kukuru kwemhepo
C .Aaah makore afamba.

musoro musoro

Enock: Imarii kugerwa?
Barber: $3.
Enock:  Ahh nemhanza iyoyi???
Barber:  Mudhara msoro msoro!!
Enock:  Horaiti ndigerewo DHINO
Barber:  Haa mdara nemhanza yamuinayo iyi
Enock:  Mfana msoro msoro gera wakanyarara

boys dze chamba

Vamwe varume vakanga vakadhakwa nechamba zuva rose. Sha itatichirova kekupedzisira tirare. Enda unokumbira matches panaJoice vasati varara. Aah shaa ndadzoka vatihavana. Hoo saka matches yanetsa dzima candle tirare tozviona mangwana

chinoz - zita riri mu fashion

Journalist : Nhai vaChinotimba, kana Bona abatsirwa mwana munofunga timupe zita rekuti ani? Toda zita riri mufashion. 
Chinoz: Zvirikumbofambaseiishe.

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