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rest in peace

Kudanana na Village girl ma 1. 
Boy.... "Goodnyt swit, !
Girlfriend..... "ok switheart, rest in peace...."

baba vanoenda kubasa netsoka

Teacher: Baba vanoenda kubasa netsoka vanonzi chii?
Fatso: vanonzi Stepfather

panouya vanhu kuzo bata maoko

Vamwe baba vakati vava kufa, vakati regai ndiraire mwana zvokuita parufu pachauya vanhu vachibata maoko.

Panouya mapostori, uvige sugar, 
Pachauya veAnglican uvige doro , 
Pachauya veMethodist uvige  nyama , 
Panouya maPentecost uvige mari, 
Panouya veEndtime (Gumbura) uvige amai vako.

ibola egedini

Reporter: nhai vaChinoz munoti kudiiko ne Ebola irikuda kupinda munyika? 
Chinoz: haa mfana yakapinda kare kare, ndiyo yaingonzi nanavaMugabe nepa T.V pose kuti IBOLA EGEDIN

Kuma kuva here kuno?

  • When Zimbabweans have money and minerals they keep it in Switzerland. 
  • When they are sick they go to South Africa or Malaysia. 
  • When buying mansions they visit Dubai or London. 
  • When shopping they go to China or Dubai. 
  • When on holiday they visit South Africa, America or London. 
  • When educating their children they select South Africa, Malaysia, Australia, UK or America. 
  • When praying they go to Lagos or Jerusalem, 

BUT when they die they all want to be BURIED in ZIMBABWE! 
Please could you ask them for me, is ZIMBABWE A CEMETERY?

chinoz pa gochi gochi

Chinoz and Gono vachirova gochi gochi...,
Chinoz: Reply the meat
Gono: What..??
Chinoz: I said reply the meat
Gono: What.....!
Chinoz: Ndati pindura nyama iyo dofo..

mukaka wakanzi Handy andy

Dear Mukuwasha,

Ndanga ndichiti ndikuzivise kuti grocery ndakariwona asi ndokumbira kuti next tym musanditengerewo mukaka wakanzi Handy andy unoitisa manyoka.

Makawandisa, hamukwani!

President Robert Mugabe visited Chinoz at his one-roomed house & he knocked on the door.
Chinoz: Ndiyani ?
RGM: I am his excellency; the head of state and gvt; the commander in chief of the Zimbabwe defence forces; the chancellor of all state universities; the first and permanent secretary of revolutionary party  of zanu pf, the father of Chatunga, the most educated president in the world and the president of the republic of zimbabwe, cde Robert Gabriel Mugabe.
Chinoz: ah makawandisa hamukwani ndine nzvimbo yemunhu one chete!

mushonga weku booster businesse

Jonso aive neshop asi yaisatengwa nekuda kubooster business  akaenda kun'anga ndokunzi auye nechiropa chemunhu. Iye nekutya kuuraya munhu akabva aenda nechembudzi. Asvika kuye n'anga ndokuita zvayakaita zvikanzi mangwana chaiye uchaona maresults. Mangwana acho achisvika pashop akaona pasinga pindike nembudzi!

pipe ye oxygen

l went to see my real friend ku hospital sezvo aisanzwa bhoo ,ndakasvikoona akaiswa pa oxygen hei hana yangu yakatanga kurova.ndakanomirawo paside pembhedha ,shamwari yangu yakabva yatora kapepa ne pen zvaainge apihwa kuti agonyorera zvaanenge achida sezvo anga asichagone kutaura ,akanyora ndokundipa ,asi ini wacho njere dzainge dzotorasika ndangoisa kapepa kaya muhomwe ndichiti hapana zvisvinu ndozonoverengera kumba. tichiripo shamwari yangu yakabva yafa 

tapedza kumuradzika ,sekuru vemufi vakazonditi ko kapepa kaya kainge kakanzi chii 

ndakakaburitsa semunhu aisaziva kuti kanei ndokuverenga pamwechete 

(kainge kakanzi):

"WAKATSIKA PIPE INOSUPLIER OXYGEN SHAA"

Nharo dzeku bhawa

This old man akabva kubhawa akabatwa ne beer, ndokuti kune mukadzi wake ndipo bible, mudzimai ndokuita saizvozvo, mudhara ndokuvhura hake chapter yaMatthew overenga, suddenly bvaangoti "yaaa vanhu vane nharo" ndokuti kune mudzimai wake "mangwana kana wakuenda kuChurch undimutsewo nhaika" Mangwana vakamuka ndokubuda vese nguva dzekuenda kuChurch, vasvika pano pararana road yekuChurch neyekubhawa, mudhara ndokutora bible zvikanzi "mai mwana ndokuona wabva kuChurch rega ndimbono rakidza vanhu vaindiitisa nharo kubhawa nezuro kuti Matthew ina double T..

chinoz achinyora zamanishoni

MuExam yeGeo CHINOTIMBA anobvisa  hembe dzose osara nebrief.
Invigilator: ko zvadiizve nhaivaChinotimba.
chinoz: ndiri kuanswer  number 4 yakanzi answer in brief...

ebola mu zimbabwe

Zimbabwe today recorded its first Ebola case in Hurungwe.This morning at the district hospital a healthy baby boy named Ebola Moyo was born at 05:27hrs to happy parents Fred and Monica Moyo....

chinoz akananga jobheki

Rimwe zuva Chinoz akafunga kuenda kuSouth Africa, ndokutenga ticket number 8 rebhazi rePathfinder.

Sezvo bhazi rePathfinder rine mamwe maseats epasi mamwe emudenga,Chinoz rake renumber 8 renge riri repasi asi iye akaita nharo ndokunogara repamusoro number 40.Murume enge and number 40 paakauya Chinoz akaramba kusumuka. Murume uya akano reporter kusecurity yekwaPathfinder asi vakamukoniwa.

Mumwewi blazo ndokusimuka akandozevezera Chinoz munzeve,pakarepo Chinoz ndokurongedza zvinhu zvake ndokuenda paseat repasi.

Vanhu vakashamisika vakabvunza murume uye kuti akange amuzevezera kuti kudii, iye ndokuti ndamuudza kuti maseats epamusoro arikuenda kuMalawi epasi ndiwo arikuenda kuSouth Africa

Unobatika papi?

Muface: uri pa whatsapp?
Chimoko: aiwa
Muface: ko facebook?
Chimoko: aiwa
Muface: ko twitter hayo?
Chimoko: handipo
Muface: saka uri pai?
Chimoko: ndiri pa eco-cash

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