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Mukomana achi pfimba musikana

Kunyenga kwakaoma akomana. Mumwe muface akati achinyenga babie apererwanemasasi akabata ruoko rwe babie zvikanzi "unomboziva kuti ndorutyora here..."

Ndasangana nerimwe benzi ndikati, "Ko nhai mukuraramawo sei neChando ichi nokuti zvachirikuita mumba uine magumbeze kuzoti imi mapenzi panze?"

Zvikanzi "Shamwari ndopaunoona kuti kana usiri serious nekupenga unodzokera kumba..."

Price controls

Muface akaenda kunoroora he's introducing his delegation...

"Ava ndisekuru vangu, uyu mukoma wangu, kwozoita avo vagere apo mupurisa weprice control..

Chinoz anakirwa ne H-Metro

Chinoz akatenga H-Metro akanakirwa, akaseka ndokuseka ndokubuditsa dollar zvikanzi ndipe rimwe shamwari

Fata achibatsira gungano rake

Umwe mwana kumusha akagara pasi muchechi asina bhurukwa fata vaka zviona vakati: "mwana, kana chechi yapera undione."

Mwana akaenda kunovaona zvikanzi nafata "Tora $10 utenge mabhurukwa wanzwa!"

Mwana akafara, amai vacho vakazviona then next weekend vakaendawo vasina bhurukwa ndo kunogara pa front row vaka shadabura. Zvikanzi na fata "amai mundione , kana chechi yapera".

Amai vakaona fata ndokubva fata ati, "Amai oyi 2rand mutenge razor"

Wife and Hubby watching soccer

Wife and hubby watching soccer:

Wife: sweetie ko uyo akapfekerei zvakasiyana nezvevamwe?
Hubby: Ndi keeper anogara pagedhi. 

After 5 min,
Wife: Ko keeper uya zvaava kumhanya mukati, asiya ghedhi nani?
Hubby: Uyu ndi refree, haasi keeper.
Wife: Saka refree anoita basa rei?
Hubby: Ndiye ano controller game.

After 10 min,

Wife: Ko refree uya zvaamira paraini futi?
Hubby: Uyu ndi assistant refree kana kuti linesman.
Wife: Asi arikuda kusabhura refree ari mukati?
Hubby: No, anoshandira paline ipapo.

After 30 seconds,
Wife: Saka mureza waasimudza uwo iflag yekunyika ipi?
Hubby: Nhai Mwari ndaparei nhasi? Uku team yangu irikurohwa....uku ndirikubvunzwa zvisina maturo...!!

Tsumo - vapositori vs mapurisa

  • Kurova kunoda kwa John Cena, kwaMadzibaba kunoponjesa Mapurisa
  • Chirove chigokurovawo
  • Kupusa kwevane button stick, kudenha vane tsvimbo gozha.
  • Mupurisa asingadzikame, anofira mumaoko eMapostori
  • Chiripo chavawana, Mapostori haangorove Mapurisa.
  • Kwava kusakara kwe tsvimbo, sedzisakambo shanda pa kirawa.
  •  Ane Mupostori ndeane wake, kudeedza Mupurisa kupedza nguva.
  • Chinono chine ma Officer, Mapostori akarova achitiza.
  • Tsvimbo inopihwa anodenha vari kunyengetera.
  • Mwana waChihuri muranda kumasowe.
  • Kunamata kunamata havo,mapostori kudenhwa pasowe anorikita munhu.
  • Panorangwa mwana waChihuri, hwindi teerera.
  • Mupurisa rudzi,anozvara mwana anorohwa.
  • Mupurisa kuroverwa pavanhu hunzi nditandirwe tsvimbo.
  • Tsvimbo muti unorova waunoda.
  • Chidamwoyo mupurisa akada marwadzo.

Tsumo - vapositori/mapurisa

  1. Mapurisa kusunga kusunga hawo asi madzibaba varipakirau havasungwe.
  2. Dzaimbova tsvimbo dzamoses dzava mboma kurovesa mapurisa.
  3. Kudada kwaofficer kuti u are under arrest kuna madzibaba pachechi.
  4. Chiripo charovesa officer nemapostori kuti madzibaba hakurovese
  5. Chaidzingirira chava kutiza.

Vhura gonhi, tisu vemutemo

POLICE: gogogoi pano

SUSPECT: ndiani ?

POLICE: tisu vemutemo

SUSPECT: ndinga kubatsirai nei ?

POLICE: vhura door

SUSPECT:  takes time to open 

POLICE: Hey ndati vhura door, uchiri kuitei?

SUSPECT: Gemenzi ndariwana asi ndichambotsvaga tsvimbo

POLICE : Kana muri mupositori musazvinetsa henyu, hatisi kuda imi.

Eco-Tsvimbo

Econet yazviita zvekare! Unbelivable deals!!

Wave kukwanisa kuzvidzivirira kumapurisa kana masoja chaiwo ne Eco-tsvimbo! To get one, just sms "MASOWE" to 3333!!!

Different view on VaPositori vs Police

After the war between vapositori and zrp, the following people were asked to give their views and comments, and below is what they said:

Tiri parwendo actor: Mapurisa akashagadwa akashagadika semashakada akabikwa akashisha

Mai Chisamba: Vadiwa vatariri, ngatizeyei nyaya iyi zvakazara. Ko chiiko chinorwadza kudarika chimwe, tsvimbo yemupurisa (butterstick) kana kuti tsvimbo yemupositori? Touya kwamuri baba chiringazuva chedu chisati chakwata.


Papa Ubert: In the prophetic realm, I prophecy that what the vapositori did is a clear indication of lack of anointing and spiritual powers. Physical battles are not for the church. If it was my church, the congregates would just shout "Major Major!" and all the officers would shake and fall with the high anointing.

Zviri kumbofamba sei: Unotoona kuti mapurisa akatosvika pamasowe vakapfeka bhutsu uku vasina kukwinyira matrouser, apa vakatopfeka hat dzavo. Wotonzwa mapurisa ototi aa, hatidi ma child marriages kumapositori ekumasowe echishanu asi vachisiya vekwamarange. Vaya votoona kuti aa, ko tisu tega here? Bhaibheri rinoti pfekai nhumbi dzokurwa nadzo kureva kuchenesa hana yako, asi unotoona kuti vapositori vanofunga kuti magemenzi netsvimbo ndonhumbi dzacho. Wotoona mapurisa otorohwa nevapositori netsvimbo asi ivo vaine pfuti, vototiza madzimai ototi yeeeeeeee, wotoshaiwa kuti aa, ko zvinhu zvacho zviri kumbofamba sei.

Milton Chitsime: Vapositori vakanga vakaungana kuti bhomere mere seura hwesiriri pakereke paBudiriro apa, mapurisa ndokuti svikiti. Yakaparurwa nyaya, ndokunzi mudariro tsve. "Regai tsika yekuroora vana vadiki," akadaro umwe mupurisa. Kunzwa izvi vana madzibaba ndokuti tuu kutsamwa, zenze tuku nehasha. Pasina chinguva, tsvimbo kumupurisa, imwe kuna muzvina kamera. Imiwe, pakarohwa munhu pamasowe. Mupurisa akanzi netsvimbo kumusana ga, tatara tatara ndiye pasi nyonde. Umwe mupurisa akati kuna madzibaba tsvimbo zete, madzibaba pasi pi, gemenzi peku ndiye zii vakadaro. Tototenda kuti vaiva netirauzi mukati. Dai zvisizvo, paya pakati gemenzi peku, hameno. Uone madzimai uko kukuza, "Rovai madusvura iwawo." Imika! Chokwadi vakafa havana chavakaona, uye kutaurirwa hunyimwa sembare dzekumusana, saka zvaitoda kuzvionera pamhino sefodya. Yakaita mbona mbona kutsvaga chikiti chitema murima!

Sociologist: The propounders of deindividualization phenomina have already foreseen this deviant event. Because the apostolic sect members were so many, each of them lost a sense of identity, followed by untold beatings to the police. Well, taking from Haralambos et al, the theory of functionalism has been witnessed for the market of carpenters is going to boost as they will be making new tsvimbos for all madzibaba and madzimai. From a sociological perspective, the social animals, which in this regard are the police and vapositori, and ongologically speaking from an epistemological paradigm, have begun an era of war

Hwindi: Haa zvedu zvabhadhara vakomana. Mapurisa aigara akatisona, manje ikozvino ava kumapositori. Eee, maiguru muri kuenda here? Tsviyoo. Makoni nepakati.

Vharazipi: Singing *zvamutsana mutsana, madzibaba na officer, zvamutsana mutsana...* bvisa madzibwa iwe! Kusati "Rufaro kwamuri" kunorovesa netsvimbo. Kusabvisa shangu pamasowe kunorovesa. Kusabvisa hat, kunorovesa. Ndakakuudzai VaMayaya kuti Mudhogo wakazviedza izvi, haikona kuzvidza masowe.

Tsvangirayi: The police had helmets, handcuffs, butter sticks and pistols. So it cant be possible that the vapositori defeated them with only tsvimbo yemasowe. They rigged. I therefore declare this story null and void. I wont allow such rigging in 2018.

Dancehall artists: Popopopopo. Makarova officer. Makarova officer. Saka ndiyo reason, yamuri kupindira muprison. Levels! Tiri kurova tiri kurova. Tiri  kurova tiri kurova. Tiri kurova netsvimbo vamwe vari kurova nema buttersticks. Vegodo voti mapositori haana kana dhiri awa, nanana, asi isu tiri kutomhanyisa madinga netsvimbo, hmmmmm hmm.

Wasu: Ini panyaya iyi ndinoita see kuti mapurisa havana kunyatsoite introduce nyaya yavo kuna madzibaba Ishamaeri. Izvi zvakazoita kuti porisi iitwe bash netsvimbo. Hongu mapositori ari wrong pakuite marry vana vadiki uye kusavaendese kuschool. Asi iyo porisi yaifanira kutange yaite remove shangu dzavo nema helmets vobva vozoite address nemapositori. Asi ndinoti sando kumapositori nekuti vakaita defeat porisi netsvimbo chete. Asi manje porisi ichaite revenge and hameno vana madzibaba vakaponaba. 

City Council: We have now found a solution to the city kombi operators. They have outweighed both our officer and those from zrp regardless of the fact that our police is armed with butter sticks. Now we are replacing our officers with vapositori and phase out butter sticks and employ tvimbo dzekumasowe. With this strategy in place, the traffic jam and confusion that is caused by kombi operators will be put to an end.

maid (sisi vebasa) achitaura na madam

MAID ACHITAURA NA MADAM:

Maid : Mhama ndanga ndichida kuti mundiwedzere mari nekuda kwezvikonzero zvitatu: Hamugoni ku aina, hamugoni kubika, pabonde futi hamuna door pandiri!
Madam : Akakuudza kuti handigone ku aina ndiani?
Maid : Ndi Daddy.
Madam : Akakuudza kuti handigone kubika ndiani?
Maid : Ndi Daddy.
Madam : (nehasha) Akakuudza kuti handigone pa bonde ndiyani?
Maid : Ndi Garden boy.
Madam : (vadzikama) Saka manga mati ndikuwedzerei ne marii nhai mainini?

Ka hwindi kechidiki

Amai vakatengera mwana toy yekombi. Kakomana kakatanga kuitambisa kachideedzera kachiti "vabereki 4 4, Tafara Mabvuku kwagogo! Ko imi makamirirei? Murimhata" The mother overheard her son and was angry. She took away the toy and hid it. After a while vakanzwa tsitsi mwana wavo angonyarara. She give him the toy bck. Gare gare vakanzwa mwana akudeedzera achiti "vabereki tadzoka handei 4 4 Mabvuku, soriyi mota yanga yatorwa nekahure ketraffic!

Ndiyani aisa wivhi mu bhegi mangu

Bofu rakagara mubhazi ndokubva ragara paseat rikaisa mwana waro pamakumbo,bag paseat saka mubhazi makapinda chidhakwa ndokubva chabvisa bag chikagara ndokubatwa nehope. Bofu pane zvarakanga roda kutora mubag rikatsvangadzira ndobva ravhura zipi yebhurugwa rechidhakwa rikapinza ruoko. Rikatanga kupopota ndiani aisa mabanana, matomatoes ne wivhi mubag mangu.

Shingi aiva mubarber achigerwa zvake ndokubva awona mumwe mukadzi akanaka chaizvo achitsvaira mubarber mubarber umu.
Tonde: ende sisi makanaka
Mukadzi: maita basa
Tonde: do you mind if i take you out after work
Mukadzi: but i am married
Tonde: you can tell your husband kuti unenge wanonoka kupedza basa
Mukadzi: ok muudzei mega ndiyei arikukugerai

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