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Bond Beer

Munyati wemabond notes unonetsa kuhwisisa! 
Kwahi shandisai mapepa, asi anenge akamiririra mari chaiyo, inenge yakachengetwa kubank. Kureva here kuti doro rikaita shoma kudelta vanogona kungoisa mvura mumabhotoro vovhara voti chimwai nekuti mvura iyoyo yakamiririra doro riri kudelta - bond beer?

Yeast muma hewu nema fetikuku

Mwana: Nhai Mhamha  maheu nedoro zvakasiyana chii?
Mama: maheu haaiswe yeast, doro rinoiswa yeast ndosaka richidhaka.
Mwana: kkkkkkkkkk 
Mama: urikusekei?
Mwana: saka pamunoisa yeast muma fetikuku paya ndosaka muchizopopota stereki nhai, munenge madhakwa!
Mama: pfutseki
Mwana: yeast iya yatanga futi

Zviroto - unomuka wakatota chete!

Ukarota urimundege, haumbomuke urimundege.
Ukarota uriurimumota, haumbomuki urimumota.
Ukarota uchidzingirirwa, haumbomuki wakuneimwe nzvimbo.
Asi the only dream comes true kurota uchiita weti! Unomuka wakatota chete

Ma bank akaomera

Vanhu vemumabank vakaoma...ndovatruster zvekuvachengetesa mari yangu yese asi ivo vanondigaira horror zvekusungirira pen yavo pashinda...

Masasi ekupenga - Bond Notes ne hohwa

Kugamuchira bond note frm the bank iwe wakaisa Us dollar, zvakafanana nekusiya wabikisa chicken wadzoka wosviko pakurirwa hohwa

Unoita sei kana tikabata lotto

Hubby asks wife:
"Unoita sei ukanzwa kuti ndahwinha lotto?"
Wife: "Ndinotora half yacho ndokutiza."
Hubby: "Ndagona 3 numbers saka ndahwinha $27. Tora $13:50 yako urove pasi."

Inopinda chete

Wakarara ne musana - inopinda
Wakarara ne dumbu - inopinda
Wakarara ne side - inopinda
Wakamira - inopinda
Wakakotama - inopinda
Nyangwe uchigeza - inopinda
Mangwanani - inopinda
Masikati - inopinda
Manheru - inopinda
Nyangwe pa weekend - inopinda
aah ini ndaneta nayo whatsapp yakati kuuya iyi!! ma msg haamiri kupinda!!

Chinoz - hanzvadzi yangu yafirwawo

Hanzi Chinoz aichema coz baba vake vaive vafa ndokubva afonerwa nehanzvadzi yake first born ye mumba mavo. Apedza kutaura, akabva awedzera kuchema. 
Ndakumuti ko chii zvakare, zvikanzi: "hanzvadzi yangu yafirwawo na baba futi".

Mubedha wakambo rarwa neumwe mukadzi

Asi vakadzi vakapusa unotonzwa vachizvikudza hanzi handirari pamubhedha wakamborarwa nemumwe mkadzi hee handishandisi midziyo yakamboshandiswa nemumwe mkadzi kkkk ko nhengo yababa yacho munodi kuiramba cz yakamboshandiswa nemumwe mkadzi

Mabasa embanje - avocado

John naJames vapedza zvawo kurova mbanje vakaenda pamuAvocado ndokuona Avo (kotopeya) riri pamusorosoro vakatanga kuritema nematombo vachitadza kuridonhedza. 
Pava paya, vaneta, John ndopaakati sha tikangofira kutema Avo risina kuibva pano rega ndikwire tione kana rakaibva. John akakwira ndokusvikori dzvanya dzvanya ndokubva dzaburuka zvikanzi rakaibva sha ngatishingirirei rinodonha

Zebra nokunaka kwaro rinogara musango...

Zebra nokunaka kwaro rinogara musango. But donkey nokushata kwaro rogara pamusha mudanga. Its not about beauty, Its about character.
Ma yellowbone muchadya ma likes pa Facebook, the dark ones vachichata every Saturday.

Grade 1 - Unonzi ani?

Mwana ainzi anius vaishotena vachiti ani zvakazonetsa mudzidzisi paakada kuzoenda kuchikora grade 1 
Mudzidzi:Unonzi ani? 
Anius:Munotoziva zita rangu makaudzwa namukoma kani?

Masasi ekupenga - Hauna kuitirwa baby shower

Nezuro zvandakaudzwa nemumwe muporofita hanzi zvinhu zvangu hazvisi kufamba because ndiri mudiki handina kuitirwa baby shower.

Vanhu vanoda chirungu kudarika chivanhu

  • Ndopaunoona munhu achiramba mvura yemuteuro achida anointed water 
  • Kutoramba kubatsirwa nemuporofita asi achida prophet
  • Hanzi handipfeki shinda dzomunamato asi ndopfeka wrist band
  • Kuti handinamate mufananidzo asi aine chidhori chine mufananidzo waprophet 
  • Kuramba kuyereserwa cooking oil kumasowe achida kunamatirwa anointing oil
  • Munhu kuramba kunzi Mupostori Asi uchizviti Apostle Chakadaro.

Zvasiyanei idzo pentecostal nemapositori?

shongrish - Kupfekedza mwana napukeni

AMAI: Nhai baba vemwana kupfekedza mwana napukeni muchirungu kunonzi kudini?
BABA: Haa apa ndakaroora mukadzi zidofo chairo.
AMAI: Tiudzeika imi makadzidza.
BABA: Kutadza kungoti kidnapping